Hi Maggie,,apparently Natalie was initially bitter to learn that her birth mother abandoned her when she was 4 hours old. It doesn't state under what circumstances.
Aww,,bless her,,she says that she's bringing up her family so that when she reaches a certain age,,they'll love her,aww,how sad.
Natalie was born in 1979 and adopted in 1980. The Canns' who adopted her lived in Christchurch, Dorset,by the sea. She knows nothing about her adoption,which,like the Bambers',was done privately,,and so the parents weren't forthcoming with any information.She was never allowed to discuss it with her dad as it upset him too much.
Her father is horrified at the way Natalie is living,,as when he does see her,he tells her to get a job,but she has another baby instead.
Adoptive parents had a glitch in their marriage when the husband,,who worked in Berkshire,left the family home to live with another woman. Natalie was 6 at the time.
At the age of 13,Natalie had been to 4 schools with moving. At 14,,Natalie left her mother,who she didn't get on with,,and moved to live with her father. Her father had re-married,,and as a consequence,,the new step-mother didn't want Natalie either.
To cut a long story short,,Natalie then fell for a chap who'd been in prison for drug crimes,,and so began a downward spiral of Natalies' middle-class life without love or stability. Poor girl,eh.?
Yes, I know Christchurch quite well, it's not far from me.
I really don't understand adoptive parents who boohoo when their children want to know where and who they came from.
They just don't seen to understand that you earn the love of a child, natural or adopted, you cannot prize love out of them by ownership. I do believe a child should know they're adopted before they can understand the fact. That way they accept the whole thing as part of their life. Making it into a big bad secret just covers a child in guilt and shame. imo
Any adopted child does have a poor sense of worth unless they can work through it because no matter the reason for a natural mother giving up a child they see themselves as not being wanted, not good enough for their mother etc. They need love and protection and understanding and even with all that it sometimes just isn't enough and specialised counselling is needed.
I would imagine these parents really wanted their daughter because adoption is never something you do for fun, they just had poor emotional intelligence and would have behaved the same with any child natural or not this may have been exacerbated by Natalie's inherited genes which caused her to behave in a manner unacceptable to the parents expectations. In an adoptive relationship between parents and child, unconditional love is even more important imo.
