Mike deciding to shut down the forum

[guest154]

Mat, for as long as you were posting on the red forum, Grahame was always going to find it difficult to get along with you, quite understandably in my opinion.  However, now that you have 'seen the light' I think that you and he may just stand a chance! 

Also, Neil  - I think it is important to bear in mind that the abuse from Grahame began LONG before I was a poster on the red forum. On my first day here he was abusive, calling me a troll and attacking the moderators for not banning me.

[Neil]

I still don't think it should be seen as fair game to target someone because they post elsewhere. Very silly IMO to attempt to stop people posting where they want - I've never agreed that people should be told what to do.

But still, I am responding to comments he has sent to this forum since he left.

Perhaps the fact that you were posting on the threads devoted to poking fun at Grahame, caused him more of a problem than you posting per se.  Some people need a little bit of looking after and Grahame deserved support and understanding from us all.

[maggie]

So now we know the forum is here for the longer term we can hopefully get back to the debates Neil.

[Neil]

Also, Neil  - I think it is important to bear in mind that the abuse from Grahame began LONG before I was a poster on the red forum. On my first day here he was abusive, calling me a troll and attacking the moderators for not banning me.

You did make quite an entrance though, didn't you?  I know that that was more of a misjudgment than anything but ....well.. You know.

[guest154]

You did make quite an entrance though, didn't you?  I know that that was more of a misjudgment than anything but ....well.. You know.

Unintentionally the entrance was seen as most unwelcome by some, but most people settled down with me after it. Never Grahame though.
Admittedly one of the appealling things of the Red Forum was there there were members there that were able to say 'ignore him he's like that with most people' because there were a few female members there that had runs ins with him and been banned when he was in 'power'. It was nice to see I wasn't the only person!

[Jane]

Also, Neil  - I think it is important to bear in mind that the abuse from Grahame began LONG before I was a poster on the red forum. On my first day here he was abusive, calling me a troll and attacking the moderators for not banning me.

Mat, I said in my previous post to you that I was aware of a longstanding problem between you and Grahame. It has clearly, whatever it was about, caused enormous problems for you both. However, as you are both adults, I don't believe that all is lost. You both have a choice to make. You can carry on as you have before and every few weeks another spat will result in disruption and bad feelings on the forum OR you can sort it out, wipe the slate clean and start again. At the moment it feels as if you are putting a plaster over a festering sore.

I'm not taking sides, Mat. I would say exactly the same words to Grahame. Good feelings can be restored, but you both have to want it to happen.

[guest154]

Mat, I said in my previous post to you that I was aware of a longstanding problem between you and Grahame. It has clearly, whatever it was about, caused enormous problems for you both. However, as you are both adults, I don't believe that all is lost. You both have a choice to make. You can carry on as you have before and every few weeks another spat will result in disruption and bad feelings on the forum OR you can sort it out, wipe the slate clean and start again. At the moment it feels as if you are putting a plaster over a festering sore.

I'm not taking sides, Mat. I would say exactly the same words to Grahame. Good feelings can be restored, but you both have to want it to happen.

I understand, April.  I am aware you're not taking sides. However, I won't be 'making up' with him.  IMO I can't trust him - the way he has acted from day one - specifically the comments when he got his 'power' back have taught me a lesson, and it is not to befriend him. I do however wipe my hands clean of him  - and won't cause a problem when he comes back.

[Roch]

I do however wipe my hands clean of him  - and won't cause a problem when he comes back.

It might take a lot of self discipline to achieve this goal.

[guest154]

It might take a lot of self discipline to achieve this goal.

What actually annoys me, Roch. Is that it is all so see-through. Sure, Grahame has apologised to you - but would he have done that if he had got his own way and kept his mod spot? Was he nice to you when he had his mod-spot or was he talking down to you? Was he a nightmare? Was he up his own arse? Was he embaressing himself and the board? Did he believe all the tripe he was saying? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

But things didn't go his way - he got caught and shamed.

But you can mark my words if he hadn't - he would have found a reason to ban me, he was already persecuting me for having an opinion and threatening me with a ban.

I just hope the same people who are willing to stand up for him - would have called bullshit on the ban he was going to unfairly dish out on the people he personally didn't like when he begged to get his 'power' back - but I doubt they would have done.

[Jane]

What actually annoys me, Roch. Is that it is all so see-through. Sure, Grahame has apologised to you - but would he have done that if he had got his own way and kept his mod spot? Was he nice to you when he had his mod-spot or was he talking down to you? Was he a nightmare? Was he up his own arse? Was he embaressing himself and the board? Did he believe all the tripe he was saying? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

But things didn't go his way - he got caught and shamed.

But you can mark my words if he hadn't - he would have found a reason to ban me, he was already persecuting me for having an opinion and threatening me with a ban.

I just hope the same people who are willing to stand up for him - would have called bullshit on the ban he was going to unfairly dish out on the people he personally didn't like when he begged to get his 'power' back - but I doubt they would have done.

Mat, what would you like to happen?

[Neil]

What actually annoys me, Roch. Is that it is all so see-through. Sure, Grahame has apologised to you - but would he have done that if he had got his own way and kept his mod spot? Was he nice to you when he had his mod-spot or was he talking down to you? Was he a nightmare? Was he up his own arse? Was he embaressing himself and the board? Did he believe all the tripe he was saying? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

But things didn't go his way - he got caught and shamed.

But you can mark my words if he hadn't - he would have found a reason to ban me, he was already persecuting me for having an opinion and threatening me with a ban.

I just hope the same people who are willing to stand up for him - would have called bullshit on the ban he was going to unfairly dish out on the people he personally didn't like when he begged to get his 'power' back - but I doubt they would have done.

That's all supposition. 

[guest154]

That's all supposition. 

Certianly, not. Neil. It isn't paranoia, Grahame would have banned me.

Mat, what would you like to happen?

What would I like to happen? I'd be happy never to hear from him again.
What do I think should happen? That's up to Grahame - he isn't banned, no one made him leave he deleted his own account?
What do I think will happen? He will be back within a couple of weeks, quiet for a few days and then he'll be swearing and abusive again.

[Roch]

What actually annoys me, Roch. Is that it is all so see-through. Sure, Grahame has apologised to you - but would he have done that if he had got his own way and kept his mod spot? Was he nice to you when he had his mod-spot or was he talking down to you? Was he a nightmare? Was he up his own arse? Was he embaressing himself and the board? Did he believe all the tripe he was saying? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

But things didn't go his way - he got caught and shamed.

But you can mark my words if he hadn't - he would have found a reason to ban me, he was already persecuting me for having an opinion and threatening me with a ban.

I just hope the same people who are willing to stand up for him - would have called bullshit on the ban he was going to unfairly dish out on the people he personally didn't like when he begged to get his 'power' back - but I doubt they would have done.

I struck first on the thread in question, not the other way round.  I take your point on whether or not a ban on you would have bothered some posters.  It's a fair point.  However, the point I'm making is that this kind of conflict will only peter out when one of the perpetrators steadfastly refuses to react. 

[Neil]

I struck first on the thread in question, not the other way round.  I take your point on whether or not a ban on you would have bothered some posters.  It's a fair point.  However, the point I'm making is that this kind of conflict will only peter out when one of the perpetrators steadfastly refuses to react.

It would have bothered me, I enjoy Mat's posts.  I don't believe it would have happened in any case, I've never found any of Mat's posts in the least bit offensive.

[guest154]

It would have bothered me, I enjoy Mat's posts.  I don't believe it would have happened in any case, I've never found any of Mat's posts in the least bit offending.

Thanks, Neil. But trust me  in fact, this post of Grahames

Of course you don't and that is why you are an unsuitable person to be on this forum. Because we do care on this forum. You just do not matter in my eyes. You are a nonentity and a worthless shallow character as far as I can see. Watch your step from now on.

Shows what I was dealing with. Also Grahame actually said he asked to become mod because Roch wasn't dealing with the complaints he'd reported in a way he saw fit - and I'm sure Roch will confirm this - the person that Grahame was reporting, was me.