Did Sheila Suffer An Attachment Disorder Resulting In Affectionless Psychopathy?

[Jane]

What damning evidence??

'Morning lebaleb, glad to know your there!!! I think his comments are a bit of pot calling kettle!!!! Balanced? Steve?!!!!!!!!!

[maggie]

'Morning lebaleb, glad to know your there!!! I think his comments are a bit of pot calling kettle!!!! Balanced? Steve?!!!!!!!!!

Hi April/lebaleb.....haven't seen much of steve for a while.....I've missed him   

[Jane]

Hi April/lebaleb.....haven't seen much of steve for a while.....I've missed him   

'Morning Maggie. I agree. Steve's posts gave many of us something to get our teeth into...........even if we didn't like the flavour of what we tasted!!!!!!!

[maggie]

'Morning Maggie. I agree. Steve's posts gave many of us something to get our teeth into...........even if we didn't like the flavour of what we tasted!!!!!!!

;Dvery true april 

[Steve_uk]

I dont know if june saw her adopted children as second choice. Of course every woman assumes they will bare their own children. Not being able to have your own children is a blow for any woman who wants them. It does not necessarily mean her adpted children are ever considered second choice. Mine never were. We dont really know the truth of June's mental illness and when I said through I meant at various times. 

It's difficult to say but there is that lingering suspicion that June wanted children to "fit in" with the villagers in the 1950s and to possibly stop tongues wagging as to why the Bambers after eight years were still childless. There's also the suggestion from Claire Powell that June had in her own mind an ideal of how the children were meant to turn out: Sheila would be married in white at the 14th century church in the village and settle down to be a good farmer's wife,and Jeremy would be a good farmer learning the business under the control of Ralph(Nevill) from the bottom up.

As we subsequently know these hopes and aspirations could not have been further from the truth.

[Steve_uk]

A very interesting and moving piece on last nights "Newsnight" showed how devasting can be a rare condition called Post Partum Psychosis. It highlighted three women who had suffered this condition, sadly they could only interview two because the third had killed herself and her baby girl.

The symptoms the mothers describe sounded exactly like those of Sheila. They described the belief that their babies were evil and telling them to do bad things. one of the mothers was in  a secure psychiatrac ward for 6 months before she was cured. The condition can escalate from 1 to 10 over a couple of days.

Sheila saw herself at worst as a white witch who harms nobody,but who had anyway been stabilised again after coming out of hospital in March 1985. She would never have hurt her children:this is the recurring theme of three books I have read on the murders thus far.

[Steve_uk]

Hi April/lebaleb.....haven't seen much of steve for a while.....I've missed him   

Well I'm back for awhile..is the site shutting down? After seeing the Mike Tesko video on youtube he's not the Essex bovver boy I took him to be from the photo. He could easily be mistaken for a Ted Moult figure,as he pontificates on the crime, cuts the wholemeal loaf and puts the cheeseboard and Jacob's Crackers down on the table in the farmhouse kitchen,so redolent of the locus where Ralph(Nevill)was slain..

[maggie]

It's difficult to say but there is that lingering suspicion that June wanted children to "fit in" with the villagers in the 1950s and to possibly stop tongues wagging as to why the Bambers after eight years were still childless. There's also the suggestion from Claire Powell that June had in her own mind an ideal of how the children were meant to turn out: Sheila would be married in white at the 14th century church in the village and settle down to be a good farmer's wife,and Jeremy would be a good farmer learning the business under the control of Ralph(Nevill) from the bottom up.

As we subsequently know these hopes and aspirations could not have been further from the truth.

Steve, I would point out that maybe most mothers have that dream. It depends on their intellectual and cutural environment.   Many children fail to meet their mothers and fathers desires that has nothing to do with her being adopted. That is just what happens....adopted,natural.....aukward isnormal.What are you trying to.say. I really object to the constat insinuations from various people that because Sheila andJeremy were adopted that there was less love. The love may have been confused as natural child parent love can be but adoptive love however demanding is at least as good as natural love in most but obviously not all situations.

[Steve_uk]

Steve, I would point out that maybe most mothers have that dream. It depends on their intellectual and cutural environment.   Many children fail to meet their mothers and fathers desires that has nothing to do with her being adopted. That is just what happens....adopted,natural.....aukward isnormal.What are you trying to.say. I really object to the constat insinuations from various people that because Sheila andJeremy were adopted that there was less love. The love may have been confused as natural child parent love can be but adoptive love however demanding is at least as good as natural love in most but obviously not all situations.

But there were no hugs maggie,no embraces,no physical contact whatsoever. June may have loved them in her heart,but she did not communicate that love. Nevill was a workaholic who I'm sure wanted the best for his children whether they were adopted or not,and his receipt of hour-long telephone calls from Sheila proves that he did care about her,just they didn't see much of each other throughout their respective lives.

[maggie]

But there were no hugs maggie,no embraces,no physical contact whatsoever. June may have loved them in her heart,but she did not communicate that love. Nevill was a workaholic who I'm sure wanted the best for his children whether they were adopted or not,and his receipt of hour-long telephone calls from Sheila proves that he did care about her,just they didn't see much of each other throughout their respective lives.

Steve...you are wrong....adoptions are usually special and lovely things.....April and egap I know not alwYs...I will post you tomorrow steve. 

[Jane]

Sheila saw herself at worst as a white witch who harms nobody,but who had anyway been stabilised again after coming out of hospital in March 1985. She would never have hurt her children:this is the recurring theme of three books I have read on the murders thus far.

!!! I think you will find tha Sheila was anything BUT stabalized when she discharged herself early from hospital in March 1985.

That wasn't too painful, was it

[Jane]

It's difficult to say but there is that lingering suspicion that June wanted children to "fit in" with the villagers in the 1950s and to possibly stop tongues wagging as to why the Bambers after eight years were still childless. There's also the suggestion from Claire Powell that June had in her own mind an ideal of how the children were meant to turn out: Sheila would be married in white at the 14th century church in the village and settle down to be a good farmer's wife,and Jeremy would be a good farmer learning the business under the control of Ralph(Nevill) from the bottom up.

As we subsequently know these hopes and aspirations could not have been further from the truth.

Do you know what, Steve? There is NOTHING I disagree with in the above. As Maggie said, all parents have dreams and aspirations for their children but SOME parents by adoption have a need for their children to be perfect, which puts an horrendous strain on that child. Yes, I am speaking from personal experience. Whilst you may have found it difficult to say, I have NO difficulty in saying that I was expected to go the extra mile to show to others that I was my parents' child. If Sheila and Jeremy experienced anything like the childhood I had, they would have spent a lot of time feeling lost. Believe me, it can be very uncomfortable being forced into a coat which wasn't made for you. Thankfully, I believe that most adoptions are more successful than my own.

[Jane]

Steve, Somewhere on my first post I'd said WELCOME BACK, I've missed our exchanges, but it seems to have become lost........so I've repeated it just so you know I mean it!!!!

[Steve_uk]

Do you know what, Steve? There is NOTHING I disagree with in the above. As Maggie said, all parents have dreams and aspirations for their children but SOME parents by adoption have a need for their children to be perfect, which puts an horrendous strain on that child. Yes, I am speaking from personal experience. Whilst you may have found it difficult to say, I have NO difficulty in saying that I was expected to go the extra mile to show to others that I was my parents' child. If Sheila and Jeremy experienced anything like the childhood I had, they would have spent a lot of time feeling lost. Believe me, it can be very uncomfortable being forced into a coat which wasn't made for you. Thankfully, I believe that most adoptions are more successful than my own.

Yes april1 and it was Sheila whose problems manifested themselves first with Ralph and June:her low self-esteem brought about by her failure at school,and then the incident in the fields whereby June called her the "Devil's Child",which gave her a guilt trip about sex. Of course Jeremy also had low self-esteem,but he could escape this feeling through bluster with the other boys. Sheila did not have the wherewithal to renounce this feeling of worthlessness.

Here is where we may disagree. Sheila soaked up the reproach of her mother and found no outlet for it. Though it manifested itself through her illness she did not blame or take her revenge out on others. Jeremy however had a seething rage which he kept under the surface and learned to conceal his feelings which he saw as a weakness as he had confessed to being illegitimate which only resulted in him being labelled "The Bastard" by the other boys at school. Jeremy resented the attention Sheila was getting from his parents,who took their eye off the ball focussing on Sheila to the exclusion and detriment of Jeremy.

[Steve_uk]

Steve, Somewhere on my first post I'd said WELCOME BACK, I've missed our exchanges, but it seems to have become lost........so I've repeated it just so you know I mean it!!!!

Thank you april1. To continue with Sheila and Jeremy:both craved affection and both were starved of it. Both were sent away to boarding school at a time when bolstering their self-esteem was crucial,but the opposite occurred as both failed academically in those surroundings and they found themselves with nobody to confide in. Ralph(Nevill)kept in touch with the modern world through his work as a JP and saw how it was changing;June however did not have the inner strength or gumption to adapt to this brave new world and desperately clung onto a society which no longer existed,where grace was said at meals,where there was no sex before marriage and where one's societal position gave one automatic respect which did not have to be earned through effort by a younger generation.

Each time upon return from boarding school Sheila and Jeremy became ever-increasingly detached from their parents and soon became strangers to them and alienated from their way of life. Sheila could not defend herself against her mother's outbursts and herein lay the seeds of her schizophrenia. Sheila was not vindictive,she did not question her mother but genuinely thought there must be something wrong with her when she was rejected by first her schoolfriends at Moira House,then June and later Colin.

But it was not her fault. Society had changed and women were being exploited by men just as much in the society of the 1980s as they had been down the ages,even if superficially the triumvirate of Margaret Thatcher,the Queen and Diana seemed in charge. Sheila soon found that sexual liberation, was not all that it was cracked up to be,as Diana herself discovered with her affair with James Hewitt.The irony was in Sheila's case that I don't think she ever sought this promiscuity,she was naive,easily led,a wide-eyed victim who craved the love of one man,marriage and stability that would bring. Whereas it was Sheila who was ever-eager to please Jeremy did not make the effort and shut people off completely,including June to whom he had even given up the courtesy of speaking.