Book Reviews - Murders/Suicide at WHF

[susan]

Hello Maggie I don't know much about adoption but I would have thought when you meet your birth Mother for the first it would be like meeting a stranger and it would take many meetings to learn to get to know one another and in many cases it ends up in tears I have seen it happen. I suspect in some cases a child may not even like his/her birth parents the child will bond with the parents who have brought them up from being babies and they will be their parents.  Just my opinion of course.

[Jane]

Hello Maggie I don't know much about adoption but I would have thought when you meet your birth Mother for the first it would be like meeting a stranger and it would take many meetings to learn to get to know one another and in many cases it ends up in tears I have seen it happen. I suspect in some cases a child may not even like his/her birth parents the child will bond with the parents who have brought them up from being babies and they will be their parents.  Just my opinion of course.

Susan Hello You're absolutely correct. I know of cases where people have gone blundering in like bulls in china shops, with beautiful happy ever after fantasies in their heads, only for it to end in disaster and tears. It should never be undertaken without ongoing support and counselling, especially so in the case of someone as emotionally immature as Sheila.

[maggie]

Hello Maggie I don't know much about adoption but I would have thought when you meet your birth Mother for the first it would be like meeting a stranger and it would take many meetings to learn to get to know one another and in many cases it ends up in tears I have seen it happen. I suspect in some cases a child may not even like his/her birth parents the child will bond with the parents who have brought them up from being babies and they will be their parents.  Just my opinion of course.

You're right susie I've two children, both found their birth mothers and both reacted differently, it's all so complicated and convolvulated on both sides it's not surprising many such relationships fail. The higher the expectations the harder the fall I would think, therefore would imagine Sheila was ripe for a fall if she hadn't yet experienced it....poor Sheila.

[killingeve]

Hello Maggie I don't know much about adoption but I would have thought when you meet your birth Mother for the first it would be like meeting a stranger and it would take many meetings to learn to get to know one another and in many cases it ends up in tears I have seen it happen. I suspect in some cases a child may not even like his/her birth parents the child will bond with the parents who have brought them up from being babies and they will be their parents.  Just my opinion of course.

Hi Susan

Yes it is!  I can't understand Sheila with all this hugging and crying.  Why would you want to hug and cry with a stranger?  When I met my birth mother I was petrified she would get all emotional as I knew I wouldn't.  Thankfully she didn't.  We met outside Liberty, Regent St, London.  Went to a pub for a drink and then had lunch in a restuarant down Regent Street.  We were together for about 5/6 hours but we never met again. 

I wasn't close to my adoptive mother but I certainly didn't feel I wanted another mother at 22 yoa.  One was quite enough 

Bizarrely I did feel a connection with my birth father when we met many years later and we formed an on-going relationship and just seemed to hit it off as I did with other members of his family. 

[Steve_uk]

It still doesn't explain why, if it was so imperative to get Nevill to the kitchen, he wasn't encouraged down the stairs into the kitchen unharmed.

Jeremy couldn't estimate how many slugs from a rifle manufactured to kill vermin would be needed to kill a human being,but one pellet as Mike suggested was put into Nevill would wound if not incapacitate and make him more pliable should Jeremy have to take him head on,which is of course what happened.

[Steve_uk]

Never mind what the law states.  Such a conversation was undertaken by Colin's mother and June about foster care:

http://jeremybamberforum.co.uk/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=970.0;attach=4911

It is possible that June was using this in an attempt to persuade Sheila to move back to Essex.  Please remember we are talking of what appears to have been a domineering and controlling June and a very vulnerable Sheila.  If June said "you might lose the twins to foster care"  can you really imagine Sheila being assertive and quoting her rights?  Dr F confirms that she was unlikely to remain passive about any threat, real or percieved, over the loss of the twins.

This is old ground which was gone over when June offered to buy Colin and Sheila an antiques shop in the country and was turned down flat by Sheila who wanted to remain in London.

[lookout]

Jeremy couldn't estimate how many slugs from a rifle manufactured to kill vermin would be needed to kill a human being,but one pellet as Mike suggested was put into Nevill would wound if not incapacitate and make him more pliable should Jeremy have to take him head on,which is of course what happened.

No,,I couldn't envisage Jeremy being able to estimate anything seeing that he had the brain of an amoeba.

[Steve_uk]

Unfortunately, that meeting was the first flush but it would be very unusual if the relationship contined in that vein.  Sheila and her natural mother would have to get to know and understand each other.  It takes patience, total commitment and understanding.  You cannot just meet at an airport and everythings wonderfull forever, it doesn't work like that.imo

No,but I bet if Sheila had met a June frump Mark II at the airport that day we'd never hear the last of it from the Jeremy supporters;similarly if Sheila had told a Goldsmiths' student "I f***ing hate my parents" you'd be singing it from the rooftops on every possible occasion.

[maggie]

No,but I bet if Sheila had met a June frump Mark II at the airport that day we'd never hear the last of it from the Jeremy supporters;similarly if Sheila had told a Goldsmiths' student "I f***ing hate my parents" you'd be singing it from the rooftops on every possible occasion.

Sorry Steve, that's a bit over the top, are you addressing that to me because I feel it's uncalled for.No I wouldn't be doing any such thing and why are you calling June a frump?

[susan]

Hi N/N  that is great how you took to your Father and his side of the family and I can understand the relationship with your Mother did not go well as she was a complete stranger to you.  I have a friend who had a little girl adopted as she was unmarried at 17 and later she married and had two more children.  Later her daughter and her were reunited and everything was wonderful for a time then her daughter became jealous of her half bros and sister so then she decided to make her Mother pay by hurting her all the time as she must have felt hurt herself at being rejected and the other two had not.  I asked my friend in all honesty which children did she have the most love for and she said the two she had brought up.  Anyway all ended in sadness and they do not keep contact now.

[Steve_uk]

No,,I couldn't envisage Jeremy being able to estimate anything seeing that he had the brain of an amoeba.

Well maybe you could discuss this with Aunt Agatha and reach a compromise. In any case he had animal cunning when he told Julie he thought he knew why the Police were attempting to get him onside by being friends,only to trip him up in his statements.

Of course an innocent man would have nothing to hide,and there would be no need whatsoever for the incessant "don't knows" and "no comments".

[Jane]

Hi Susan

Yes it is!  I can't understand Sheila with all this hugging and crying.  Why would you want to hug and cry with a stranger?  When I met my birth mother I was petrified she would get all emotional as I knew I wouldn't.  Thankfully she didn't.  We met outside Liberty, Regent St, London.  Went to a pub for a drink and then had lunch in a restuarant down Regent Street.  We were together for about 5/6 hours but we never met again. 

I wasn't close to my adoptive mother but I certainly didn't feel I wanted another mother at 22 yoa.  One was quite enough 

Bizarrely I did feel a connection with my birth father when we met many years later and we formed an on-going relationship and just seemed to hit it off as I did with other members of his family.

NaNu, I can understand it. It sounds as if you grew up feeling that most of your needs had been met. It sounds as if you felt valued and had been valued. Under such circumstances you may not have had the same feelings of emotion as did Sheila/would I. Perhaps you wouldn't have had the feeling of having at last found that which you'd been deprived of for so long. I do however, share the feeling of not wanting another mother. One was decidedly enough!!!!!

[lookout]

Well maybe you could discuss this with Aunt Agatha and reach a compromise. In any case he had animal cunning when he told Julie he thought he knew why the Police were attempting to get him onside by being friends,only to trip him up in his statements.

Of course an innocent man would have nothing to hide,and there would be no need whatsoever for the incessant "don't knows" and "no comments".

Jeremy had nothing to hide. He was probably brassed off with the " incessant " repetetive questions.

[Jane]

Well maybe you could discuss this with Aunt Agatha and reach a compromise. In any case he had animal cunning when he told Julie he thought he knew why the Police were attempting to get him onside by being friends,only to trip him up in his statements.

Of course an innocent man would have nothing to hide,and there would be no need whatsoever for the incessant "don't knows" and "no comments".

Steve, that's simple psychology and how every one works, trained to obtain information without resorting to torture. They feign empathy and if they're not very good at it they're very likely to get responses like "don't know" and "no comment."

[Steve_uk]

Steve, that's simple psychology and how every one works, trained to obtain information without resorting to torture. They feign empathy and if they're not very good at it they're very likely to get responses like "don't know" and "no comment."

Jeremy had no fall back position. He almost got away with his wicked crime during which time forensic evidence was destroyed. But once he was in the dock he had no defence,no story of any significance to tell. In this regard it was similar to the Wayne Williams case in America,criminals who think their case cannot be proved and therefore maintain innocence at all costs.