It smacks of a letter written under pressure from his legal team, who in those early days before the first appeal deemed it an avenue worth exploring to get Julie to recant and thus nullify the effect of her evidence.
Assuming that the words are from his own hand and not ghostwritten it is outwardly a plausible attempt to overturn the verdict passed the year previously and appeals to Julie's heart if not her head, imploring her to recall the initial stages of their relationship when still fresh and unsullied by an insidious grudge he harboured against his family and which once shared would ultimately be the reason for their separation.
The letter ends with a veiled threat that forgiveness is impossible if his wishes are not carried out, and the enigmatic sentence: "Maybe I am the only one who can understand your actions" -a reference to the ramifications of Jeremy's plan which pervaded far beyond the two of them: a dithering which led to five deaths and an incalculable impact on Colin as Julie seemed to bargain away five lives for an all-consuming love which may or may not have burned out as soon as the deed was done. In mitigation one can only recall Jeremy's words at Blazer's restaurant, Blackheath shortly after the murders: "Don't blame yourself..I would have gone ahead with it anyway"-such little consolation in retrospect whether this letter reached its professed recipient or not, as Julie picked up the shards of shattered expectation and settled into a safe if not exhilarating routine overseas.
