Mike deciding to shut down the forum

[mertol22]

;DHey, Mertol, How is Dallas going, have you started the new series yet?

doing fine maggie  a few shows of season 7 to go, pam ewing marries mark graison she knows he has only weeks to live , jr  has destroyed cliff barnes as good as he is almost broke being scammed in offshore drilling.

[petey]

Grahame has contacted me and asked me to post his account of what happened.  Grahame is no longer a member and is therefore not able to post himself, so I am happy to comply with his request.

As Roch has suggested, Grahame was understandably very upset that anyone could sink so low as to post a photograph of his mother.  He felt that he had to do something about it and he asked to be appointed as a moderator only in order to be able to take action against those associated with the abuse directed at his family.  Grahame had no intention of undermining anyone and did not think there would be any problem.  He did not let Jackie and Stephanie Hall in, they were both already registered (Jackie as Ellie Hickman) when he was appointed as moderator.  He was not acting in concert with Jackie.  He did not impose any bans during the period between being appointed and deleting his account.  Grahame says that he very much regrets what happened.

I do think it is important to remember that Grahame has been experiencing a very tough time.  Not only is he still very worried about the health of his daughter Jo, but he is not in good health himself.  I am sure that we all wish Grahame well and hope that both he and Jo make a speedy recovery.

     

Personally I have absolute sympathy with Graham and the absolutely appalling abuse he has received from certain members of the other forum and also some of the unjustified criticism he has faced here. Also I have absolute sympathy for both his own illness and the very hard times he is experiencing as a result of his daughters illness.

As a poster and member of this forum, I have no real problems with Graham and believe he has a lot to add.

However I would add the caveat that I honestly believe that regardless of the underlying reasons and aggravation he received, some of Grahams posts last week were disgraceful and went beyond the pale.

I would be more than happy for Graham to return to the forum, but before he does so, I believe he owes large apologies to both ngb and Roch as well as a number of other posters he unfairly criticised.

[maggie]

doing fine maggie  a few shows of season 7 to go, pam ewing marries mark graison she knows he has only weeks to live , jr  has destroyed cliff barnes as good as he is almost broke being scammed in offshore drilling.

Sounds just about right Mertol, all as good as can be expected under the circumstances!!

[Jane]

Personally I have absolute sympathy with Graham and the absolutely appalling abuse he has received from certain members of the other forum and also some of the unjustified criticism he has faced here. Also I have absolute sympathy for both his own illness and the very hard times he is experiencing as a result of his daughters illness.

As a poster and member of this forum, I have no real problems with Graham and believe he has a lot to add.

However I would add the caveat that I honestly believe that regardless of the underlying reasons and aggravation he received, some of Grahams posts last week were disgraceful and went beyond the pale.

I would be more than happy for Graham to return to the forum, but before he does so, I believe he owes large apologies to both ngb and Roch as well as a number of other posters he unfairly criticised.

I'm in total agreement with all you say, but I feel that apologies, in this case would be best done in private. I would be very happy tp know, that they had been made to Roch and ngb and accepted. For myself, I have no need to see it played out publicly.

[ngb1066]

Personally I have absolute sympathy with Graham and the absolutely appalling abuse he has received from certain members of the other forum and also some of the unjustified criticism he has faced here. Also I have absolute sympathy for both his own illness and the very hard times he is experiencing as a result of his daughters illness.

As a poster and member of this forum, I have no real problems with Graham and believe he has a lot to add.

However I would add the caveat that I honestly believe that regardless of the underlying reasons and aggravation he received, some of Grahams posts last week were disgraceful and went beyond the pale.

I would be more than happy for Graham to return to the forum, but before he does so, I believe he owes large apologies to both ngb and Roch as well as a number of other posters he unfairly criticised.

In fairness to Grahame, he has apologised to me and I believe also to Roch. 

 

[maggie]

I'm in total agreement with all you say, but I feel that apologies, in this case would be best done in private. I would be very happy tp know, that they had been made to Roch and ngb and accepted. For myself, I have no need to see it played out publicly.

I also agree with what petey says and agree with you that Grahame, who appears to be a generous man should be allowed to make any amends he feels he has to make in private.  imo

[maggie]

In fairness to Grahame, he has apologised to me and I believe also to Roch.

NGB, that does not surprise me at all.   

[susan]

Maggie  Grahame would have felt terrible after his outburst and wishes now he never said those things but he is only human and things are said and not really meant.

[Bridget]

I also agree with what Petey has posted, but can I ask about this bit:

He felt that he had to do something about it and he asked to be appointed as a moderator only in order to be able to take action against those associated with the abuse directed at his family.

Did someone with dual membership post the photos, or is he blaming Andrea for not taking action, or what? I don't really see how becoming a mod here would help with what is done over there.

[OnceSaid]

Everyone has a limit and when you get poked with a bid stick repeatedly, it will only be a matter of time before something gives.  This forum has been under so much stress lately, it is screaming out from the screen, that it was going to explode at some point soon.  I can only imagine the rough time the moderators have had, it could not have been pleasant at all, and it couldn't have been pleasant for members either.

I genuinely believe that the forum can recover from this, and hope that it does.  Time for a fresh start?

[maggie]

I also agree with what Petey has posted, but can I ask about this bit:

Did someone with dual membership post the photos, or is he blaming Andrea for not taking action, or what? I don't really see how becoming a mod here would help with what is done over there.

Hi Bridget, I don't think he was blaming Andrea.  I think Grahame had just finally had enough. I think he suspected there were people dual posting who could very well have been involved in posting the photo.  In such situations it's human nature to try to get some sort of control.  imo

[petey]

In fairness to Grahame, he has apologised to me and I believe also to Roch.

I will await my apology in hope if he does decide to rejoin!   (although I know that I am far less deserving of an apology than you two.)

[Bridget]

Hi Bridget, I don't think he was blaming Andrea.  I think Grahame had just finally had enough. I think he suspected there were people dual posting who could very well have been involved in posting the photo.  In such situations it's human nature to try to get some sort of control.  imo

Hi Maggie, he couldn't have known who, if anyone, was doing that, but I'll leave it since he's not here to speak for himself.

[maggie]

Hi Maggie, he couldn't have known who, if anyone, was doing that, but I'll leave it since he's not here to speak for himself.

Yes, I know Bridget but he wasn't accusing anyone particular I don't think....it's just the way he felt.....not surprising but as you say, Grahame isn't here to explain.  I just happened to be online when it all broke.

[Jane]

In his situation, given the amount of pressure he was under, he may have felt he was losing control over what was happening and lashed out. I have felt concerned for him for some time and hoped he had somebody he could offload to. I wonder what any of us might have done in a similar situation.It's food for thought, anyway.

It looks to me as if the general concensus is that the forum will recover and it's time for a fresh start. I believe it to be a fine suggestion and I believe we can make it work.