Book Reviews - Murders/Suicide at WHF

[Jane]

I will find it a struggle to watch that program?

Hi Grahame, yours is an appropriate reaction which I suspect may of us will share with you. I might tape it because it may be easier to watch during the day. Go with what ever coping mechanism works for you.

[grahameb]

Aw,,Grahame,,be brave.If only to understand that this illness has been with us for years,,,without a full understanding of its consequences in some. To prove to others that it does,,and always has existed,,,rather than taking it on a more personal and painful experience.

I usually find it a problem watching such tragic stories. But are right. This illness does cause people to do some unbelievable things. I rather find it surprising that some of those who don't believe that Sheila could murder her own children when there are so many cases that prove otherwise?

[Bridget]

I usually find it a problem watching such tragic stories. But are right. This illness does cause people to do some unbelievable things. I rather find it surprising that some of those who don't believe that Sheila could murder her own children when there are so many cases that prove otherwise?

There are also plenty of people with mental illness who manage not to murder their children.

[lookout]

There are also plenty of people with mental illness who manage not to murder their children.

Hi Bridget,,,yes,,,but it does depend on the " type " of mental illness,,and how it's contained,medically. If managed from the onset ( which,sadly,Sheilas' wasn't ) then there's every chance of a recovery,,which could take a long time,but providing that there's full cooperation on behalf of the patient,there's no reason not to believe that a normal life can't be achieved.

[lookout]

Missed,,halved medication,,,along with other noxious drugs isn't the recipe for any sort of a recovery.

[ajross]

Hi ajross

Thanks again for the updates above.

I noted your comments re Daniel being particularly concerned about June's proselytising and Colin saying that he would confront June and that in any event his mummy wld be on hand.  However as you probably know on the Monday, day before murders, Sheila was seen running from a nearby monastery and then seen running through a small woodland back towards WHF.  On both these occasions she was alone.  So where were the twins?  Were they left alone with June?

In one of Patti's post she states that when Sheila was in hospital someone, can't recall who perhaps Colin's sister or girlfriend, took the twins to Sheila's flat so that June cld meet with them.  This was on the basis that the twins should not be left alone with June as per Colin's instructions. 

So given the above who was looking after the twins whilst Sheila visited the monastery which was apparently a round trip of some 8 miles?  As she didn't drive did she walk, get a bus, taxi, lift by arrangement or hitch or some other means?  If she walked which appears to be the way she returned this would have taken her 2 - 3 hours incl time spent in monastery. 

ajross do you think Sheila had the same concerns about leaving the twins with June as Colin did?

Unfortunately I am not in a position to answer that question with anything like fact. I would guess that she did have the same reservations but only because of what I have read. I would argue that the children could have been with Ralph and going on the evidence her and the boys would be happy with that. However, they could have been on the farm, they could have been with the secretary, or housekeeper or also the young girl from the village who babysat for them

[ajross]

Patti, I'm well, thankyou.

I feel that Sheila's life was how it was because her sense of self worth was almost nonexistent. I feel very strongly that at the bottom of this was her illegitimacy and subsequent adoption, and she became a reflection of what June told her she was, but IMO she was a girl desperately in need of somebody to love her, whilst feeling unworthy of love.

 I think it likely that her love for Colin overwhelmed him. In her eyes, she probably thought him the answer to her prayers and lived in constant fear of losing him. I feel she was too needy for most men to cope with long term, probably seeking constant reassurance that they loved her. I believe that in a never ending and often futile search for love, she threw herself at men, and was used because she allowed herself to be used because she felt worthless. I think Colin was just one of many who let her down and it's to his credit that he recognizes it, but I truly believe he was not equipped to deal with it. He was not only father to twin boys, he also had to be "father" to a young woman who, IMO, was never going to be, emotionally, more than a child herself.........and then there was her illness. He may have looked elsewhere because he needed adult female support.

I read his book in the first half of the 1990s. My local library had it in along with all the other books on the local murders.

I have a huge sense of anger and helplessness when I think about Sheila. It's almost as if she was destined to be a victim from the moment of her birth. All I can say is that it isn't fair and then I'm reminded that my beloved late partner would tell me there is no book anywhere that says it is.

Colin stated that with the first pregnancy he wanted to keep the child so that he would have an eternal connection with Sheila, Sheila however didn't want the child because she was too young. I think Sheila failed to move on, I think ( and it is only an opinion from Colin's own words in the book) that Colin was a womanising, bohemian, hippy type (these are my words) he seems desperate to have been constantly surrounded by his ex's to the detriment of their feelings. I think his behavior towards all the women in his life was shocking, I don't think he was overwhelmed, I think to a certain point he relished the attention and used Jan, Sheila and Heather and I think this is directly linked to a lack of emotion in his own family.

[ajross]

Hi AJ
 
Don't you get the feeling that Sheila was always let down? I also get the feeling that she was so gullible, to the point that she trusted everyone in her path....

I feel sorry for Sheila as a victim of social conditioning. I believe she overcompensated in nearly all of her relationships by taking responsibility for the actions of her and others and I believe this was due to a lack of self esteem engendered in her by the negative attitude of June. I unfortunately believe that June was never happy with her and JB not being her 'real' children and I think that she let them know this. As JB observed, why adopt them and then send them away to boarding school as if they didn't want them around. These are only my opinions

[Jane]

Colin stated that with the first pregnancy he wanted to keep the child so that he would have an eternal connection with Sheila, Sheila however didn't want the child because she was too young. I think Sheila failed to move on, I think ( and it is only an opinion from Colin's own words in the book) that Colin was a womanising, bohemian, hippy type (these are my words) he seems desperate to have been constantly surrounded by his ex's to the detriment of their feelings. I think his behavior towards all the women in his life was shocking, I don't think he was overwhelmed, I think to a certain point he relished the attention and used Jan, Sheila and Heather and I think this is directly linked to a lack of emotion in his own family.

Aj, hi. Your last sentence is really interesting and makes a lot of sense. Sheila had been bought up experiencing lack of emotional expression. She knew how to cope with it and in a dysfunctional way was comfortable with it. It would be natural for her to be attracted to someone who would deliver in the same way although she probably didn't do it consciously. I'll jump in with both feet here and say that what she fell for was his "free spirit." After the constraints of the farm, June and Neville's control, the strict moral discipline, he must have seemed like a breath of fresh air and the chance to share his lifestyle would have been irresistable.

[Jane]

Hi Bridget

Most people with mental illness do not murder their children.  However, most people with mental illness were not adopted by a mentally ill adoptive mother.

Nice one, egap. Succinct and to the point.

[ajross]

Aj, hi. Your last sentence is really interesting and makes a lot of sense. Sheila had been bought up experiencing lack of emotional expression. She knew how to cope with it and in a dysfunctional way was comfortable with it. It would be natural for her to be attracted to someone who would deliver in the same way although she probably didn't do it consciously. I'll jump in with both feet here and say that what she fell for was his "free spirit." After the constraints of the farm, June and Neville's control, the strict moral discipline, he must have seemed like a breath of fresh air and the chance to share his lifestyle would have been irresistable.

That's a good point, I hadn't really looked at why she loved him but I would agree that it probably was his free spirit, unfortunately i think this was her (relationship) mistake as Colin strikes me as a very egocentric friend and partner, I think I have never met  anybody who so readily spends time in the company of their ex-partners and speaks so affectionately towards them it borders on narcissism

[Bridget]

Hi Bridget

Most people with mental illness do not murder their children.  However, most people with mental illness were not adopted by a mentally ill adoptive mother.

But earlier you were saying that the reason she was mentally ill was because she was adopted by a mentally ill adoptive mother... and wasn't her adoptive mother said to be ill because she adopted? By that logic there should be a significant number of adoptees committing infanticide - are there?

[ajross]

An interesting point from Colin's book is that he and Sheila discussed her first pregnancy with June and Ralph. She was apprehensive as she thought it might mean she could not have children in the future. It would seem that June took Sheila for the termination after 'persuading' her it was the right thing to do, this was shortly before they were caught naked in the field which in turn was when they took the nude photos that JB supposedly found in June's drawer. According to Colin this, and the subsequent use of the term 'the devil's child' was the point from which she started to decline.

There are also some interesting comments about JB and his time at Gresham and he says that JB claimed to be sexually abused but importantly that he became a bully and used to torment the younger pupils. There is a world of difference between killing two sleeping boys and bullying youngsters at school but it would be very interesting to know more about the extent of this bullying.

[Jane]

Hi April1

I posted this before you joined but I feel sure you will enjoy reading it.  It's soooo Freudian...

http://pages.uoregon.edu/adoption/archive/DeutschAM.htm

Egap, Many, MANY thanks for posting that riveting link. I can't believe I've lived this long without such valuable knowledge!!!!! Speaking of the Big Daddy, do you ever get the impression that he either disliked women or was scared of them?

[Bridget]

Hi Bridget

Sorry I don't follow.  I would think it is extremely rare for an adoptive mother to become mentally ill due to her decision to adopt.  And ever rarer to be allowed to keep the child and adopt another.  It is highly likely that June's mental illness caused Sheila's mental illness by the repeated break in bonds giving rise to an attachment disorder/affectionless pscychopathy in Sheila.  Unusual case with an equally unusual outcome.

All the research shows adoptees (adopted at birth) are at higher risk for emotional/psychological problems.  Those that are then brought up by a mentally ill adoptive mother are obviously placed at the extreme end of the spectrum.

See first couple of mins in:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdlOJ-_mal0

Adoptees who kill:

http://www.adoptionunchartedwaters.com/aboutthebook.php

Case last yr of adopted woman who killed son and eventually committed suicide.  Ex partner states "She decided to find her real mum in America and that's when she began to flip".

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/rachel-james-grieving-dad-hits-123282

Beware furry forum friends Egap1 and April1 are coming to get you...especially the anti's

Oh no.. and we don't even have a running away smiley!