Grief

[Jane]

Hello Maggie I am afraid it is more than Jeremy's partying that has made me think his behaviour after the murders was somewhat strange his attitude was awful even in Court he tried to be smart when after his family had been murdered he should have shown some sadness not arrogance.  It is strange even when I joined the forum at first and thought he maybe innocent I still felt the same about his attitude and made every excuse for him under the sun but now I face what I consider my reality of the events.

Susan, I'm inclined to agree with you here. The odd behaviour can be overlooked in anyone experiencing grief but I had got to the point when I heard myself making excuses for TOO many odd behaviours and found myself thinking that it didn't add up. It was the last thing in the world that I wanted to happen, despite saying I had an open mind, and I struggled against it for a long tim e.

[nugnug]

its not really making excuses its just a different interpretation of behavior.

you can allways read diffrent things into what  somone says.

[Jan]

it also depends where the reports of odd behaviour come from.

[JackiePreece]

Exactly. Anne Eaton for one
The expert on grief

[JackiePreece]

Susan, I'm inclined to agree with you here. The odd behaviour can be overlooked in anyone experiencing grief but I had got to the point when I heard myself making excuses for TOO many odd behaviours and found myself thinking that it didn't add up. It was the last thing in the world that I wanted to happen, despite saying I had an open mind, and I struggled against it for a long tim e.

April
What do you make of Colins behaviour after the murders?

[lookout]

Collin appeared to be always plastered and sending out for lifts to take Sheila home.Muggins Jeremy used to do,but he was nice then when he was flashing the cash,giving out drugs,driving folks home and general helping people. Then suddenly,he was the worlds worst. Funny old world,isn't it ?

[JackiePreece]

Too right Lookout

Jeremy could and still can be very stupid and naive
I have told him that quite a few times

[lookout]

I certainly don't know Jeremy,but I've got more than a good idea of the sort that he was,and still is.

[scipio_usmc]

You sound as if you're saying that you don't believe this is a possibility. Innocent or -strangely, guilty- because he'd have had no way of knowing how such an action would impact on him afterwards, he may have needed to get as far away from it as possible to "party" it from his mind.

Did you read what Jackie posted?  Jackie sees to be suggested he had too much grief to return to WHF and this is meant to excuse why he didn't go back to work there.  It wa sjust too traumatic to go back and be reminded of the loss. 

No I don't buy that he was happy and out partying and that it did not hit him yet and that simultanoeusly he was too traumatzed to go back to work at WHF.

He stopped working completely and just partied and lived it up.  He didn't go party to take his mind off things he was busy ransacking Sheila's place for anything he could sell and likewise went to WHF for the same purposes.  If he was so traumatized and didn't want to think about it he would not have gone to such locations for money and ites to sell. 

Not only did he have no surivor guilt, he didn't once express any sorrow or fault for leaving the gun out.  Obviously that was because he didn't leave it out and Sheial didn't use it he used it so he could live the good life and not have to work anymore.

[nugnug]

so if your parents where killed you would just straght into work the next day would you.

[lookout]

Oh,,some people are superhuman.They can sail through tragedies,even 4 murders and a suicide,without the blink of an eye.Just another day to them.

[Jane]

April
What do you make of Colins behaviour after the murders?

Well firstly, I think we have to look at his probable reaction TO the murders. I think it's possible that he'd often feared, whether or not she'd ever threatened it, that Sheila would take her own life. I imagine that, at times, living with her was like living on a knife edge. His initial reaction MAY have been relief...............................until he was given  the whole story. I can't begin to imagine how he coped.

It was he who had taken them to the farm. Something he's said to know they didn't want. He must have felt enormous guilt. Had he and Sheila still been married it's unlikely that he'd have taken them to the farm to stay there without him. He is said to have had some foreboding about taking them there. He may have felt that had he tried harder, he could have persuaded them not to go. Most of us look for something to feel guilty for when  someone dies because the pain of guilt is better than the pain of loss.There can be no pain on earth like that of losing ones child. Colin lost two. It doesn't surprise me in the least that he probably used every means at his disposal to drown it out. It would have surprised me even  less had he taken his own life.

[JackiePreece]

Oh,,some people are superhuman.They can sail through tragedies,even 4 murders and a suicide,without the blink of an eye.Just another day to them.

Thank you Lookout and Nugs

[Jan]

Did you read what Jackie posted?  Jackie sees to be suggested he had too much grief to return to WHF and this is meant to excuse why he didn't go back to work there.  It wa sjust too traumatic to go back and be reminded of the loss. 

No I don't buy that he was happy and out partying and that it did not hit him yet and that simultanoeusly he was too traumatzed to go back to work at WHF.

He stopped working completely and just partied and lived it up.  He didn't go party to take his mind off things he was busy ransacking Sheila's place for anything he could sell and likewise went to WHF for the same purposes.  If he was so traumatized and didn't want to think about it he would not have gone to such locations for money and ites to sell. 

Not only did he have no surivor guilt, he didn't once express any sorrow or fault for leaving the gun out.  Obviously that was because he didn't leave it out and Sheial didn't use it he used it so he could live the good life and not have to work anymore.

it seems that basil cock appointed peter eaton as the farm manager - and none of the other relatives seemed to take a breath before hunting Jeremy down - no time for grief there either.

He did it just because he wanted to live the good life and not work?

Or be in jail for the rest of his life.

You are only talking about a period of a few weeks and the ever maligned Julie certainly had no second thoughts about joining in either - even though she knew he had done it.

[nugnug]

well the eatons and he rest of the relatives seemed to carry on as normal witch is not that suprising considering i don't think they were really that close to the bambers.