Grief

[killingeve]

Ask any counsellor, or anyone that works with the bereaved, and they will tell you that there's no right or wrong way to behave when losing friends/family. 

JB might have appeared not to have cared at times but this does not indicate guilt.

[nugnug]

yes people react in all diffrent sorts of ways.

[petey]

Ask any counsellor, or anyone that works with the bereaved, and they will tell you that there's no right or wrong way to behave when losing friends/family. 

JB might have appeared not to have cared at times but this does not indicate guilt.

Completely agree with what you say, in particular following a v v close mates recent death, where his close mates and family have all grieved in very different ways.

However, sadly many people will cast aspersions if you are not seen to grieve in the 'correct manner.' This has certainly been the case with JB. 

Who are society to judge or tell people how they should grieve. It is completely different for different people.

[maggie]

Ask any counsellor, or anyone that works with the bereaved, and they will tell you that there's no right or wrong way to behave when losing friends/family. 

JB might have appeared not to have cared at times but this does not indicate guilt.

That is so true, in my professional life and private life I have seen people react in so many different ways from the expected tears to laughing, Shock produces many different reactions, once people would just have said Jeremy had gone off the rails and no wonder.

[mertol22]

A subject i know quite well, the loss of a family member, a close friend will bring grief to the person affected,  how they react and cope and the long term process of recovery, given the events of that night and the large loss of life to that family i would have thought it beyond normality to even measure the grief to the affected including jeremy, .

[andrea]

We all grieve in different ways, i agree. Most of us lose our loved ones to natural causes or accidents. But its a tad different when FIVE members of your family, including two small boys, are BRUTALLY murdered. One beaten horrifically with the butt of a gun.

[grahameb]

We all grieve in different ways, i agree. Most of us lose our loved ones to natural causes or accidents. But its a tad different when FIVE members of your family, including two small boys, are BRUTALLY murdered. One beaten horrifically with the butt of a gun.

Can you explain Ann Eaton's reaction to that then? For she didn't show many signs of grief either.

[mertol22]

I accept that andrea and i will not run away from your post, in my expieriences it goes betond what you say , those living blame themselves and each other, and its important not to compare events like these however tragic with other cases. It can take people years to actually come to terms what happened , and trying to understand why.

[andrea]

She didnt swan off on holliday either did she? C'mon Grahame, Bambers behaviour after his family were killed did not do him any favours. Like i say we all grieve differently, but most of us lose our loved ones to accident or illness. Its very different when five of them are murdered.

[mertol22]

I accept that andrea and i will not run away from your post, in my expieriences  , those living blame themselves and each other, and its important not to compare events like these however tragic with other cases. It can take people years to actually come to terms what happened , and trying to understand why.

[lookout]

You'll always have the " watchers ".Particularly members of the family who will scrutinise your reactions at the  passing of a relative,close or otherwise. Waiting their chance to point a finger in readiness for the gossip-mongers to have a field day.
" It's all put on,,it's false ",, you'll hear them say,,when describing a family member at a funeral.

What was expected of Jeremy.? Was he supposed to have collapsed in a heap,blubbering.?

Getting over the initial shock of the deaths,,and the way in which they died,was in itself, the most tragic of circumstances,and that alone would leave you numb and void of any other thoughts other than why.

Nobody should have to feel obliged to shed tears just because it's a funeral. Jeremy probably didn't feel like crying at that time,,so why and what had his emotions got to do with anyone,,least of all the case itself.?

I'd say there was something radically wrong with anyone who can " turn the tears on " at will. I'd be far more suspicious of them.! I don't do crocodile tears,,they belong to con-men. 

[andrea]

I accept that andrea and i will not run away from your post, in my expieriences it goes betond what you say , those living blame themselves and each other, and its important not to compare events like these however tragic with other cases. It can take people years to actually come to terms what happened , and trying to understand why.

I understand that, mertol.

Bambers behaviour spoke volumes, and trying to sell his dead sisters pictures too.

Weather nice, again, yippeee

[lookout]

I understand that, mertol.

Bambers behaviour spoke volumes, and trying to sell his dead sisters pictures too.

Weather nice, again, yippeee

Well you will read the Sun,Andrea. Poor you.
Elaborate on behaviour please.?

[andrea]

Erm, no Lookut i dont read the sun, actually.

[mertol22]

She didnt swan off on holliday either did she? C'mon Grahame, Bambers behaviour after his family were killed did not do him any favours. Like i say we all grieve differently, but most of us lose our loved ones to accident or illness. Its very different when five of them are murdered.

It did not do him any favours  even i will accept that unknown to him at the time, he would have no idea of what was to follow, you will often hear life goes on it does and it has to, why did the relatives offer to go with him for a break somewhere WHF can run without them there just a thought.