Book Reviews - Murders/Suicide at WHF

[maggie]

Grahame did he know what love was, maybe he'd never learned that.  Not everyone knows that instinctively.xx

No nbut your mum taught you how to love, even if you go off piste a bit.  your'e a good guy grahame.

[bloggs and son]

No nbut your mum taught you how to love, even if you go off piste a bit.  your'e a good guy grahame.

Thanks. I'll tell that to my kids the next time I hang them up by their thumbs and whip them with the cat o' nine tails.

[Jane]

I think so too, Mags. Sheila's friends said that when the boys were of school age they were pale, thin and fragile little boys who seemed not to know what to do with themselves until Sheila told them what to do.

Sheila would sit on a bench in the garden with one of the other mothers and say that she was worried about her boys because they were such wimps. The twins would run back to Sheila and just hover around her and she would become irritated with them and tell them to go and play, because they didn't know they wanted to play unless she told them to.

What I find odd is that Sheila would criticise the boys for hanging around her and for their failure to be as she wanted them to be, more outgoing, I suppose and more masculine. Yet Sheila had this obsessive fear that the boys would have sex with her or rape her, but I suppose these were the irrational fears she had due to her illness. These fears were the opposite of how things really were with this family.

I wouldn't mind betting that part of the reason bringing up her boys felt alien to her was because SHE wasn't doing the bringing up. June was. By this, and I drawing from personal experience, she was using the same method, and saying the same words as June had with her BEFORE she capable of conscious memory. I did exactly the same thing and it was a very confusing time. I had no idea why I was saying such mean and spiteful things. The words that came out of my mouth didn't feel as is they were mine. THEY WEREN'T. They were the words my mother had used to me.

So, how might June have experienced motherhood? I imagine she was terrified of the small creature that she found herself responsible for. I imagine she thought that if she was not a "perfect" mother, she was a failure and in order to be "perfect" she had to maintain absolute control of Sheila's every thought , word and deed. We know about June's obsession with sex. At what stage did she start to impress this on Sheila? One of my earliest memories is of being put to bed on a very cold night  and wanting to tuck my hands under the covers. My mother removed them and placed them on the eiderdown, so I put them back. She pulled out my hands and smacked them, tucked the covers in so tightly that I couldn't move and dared me, under threat, to do it again. Many years latter, I learned that this method was employed to prevent children touching their genitals!!!! Some small boys had their legs tied!!!! I feel convinced that most of the voices she heard belonged to June, in her many roles as the mother she loved, the God who told her she was a sex crazed harlot, unworthy of love and unlovable, and the Devil to told her to do those things, that as his child, she was born to do. Small wonder she was confused.

[Bridget]

Is June's 'obsession with sex' something from one of the books? I don't recall seeing anything about it.

[bloggs and son]

Is June's 'obsession with sex' something from one of the books? I don't recall seeing anything about it.

Quite frankly I think the whole of modern society is obsessed with sex. She just had an obsession with it as being dirty and sinful outside of marriage.

[Bridget]

Quite frankly I think the whole of modern society is obsessed with sex. She just had an obsession with it as being dirty and sinful outside of marriage.

I imagine since she was religious she thought it was sinful outside of marriage, and like most mothers she didn't like the idea of her daughter sleeping around.

[Patti]

Yes. June refused to let her daughter marry in the local church and give her the traditional marriage that was usually given by the family..like the big marquee on the lawn...

Sheila was pregnant at the time of her marriage and she married at the register office, then went back to an hotel....Her dress was in contention too....June told her that a white wedding was not appropriate...According to Colin, this was to save embarrassment in the village. 

[bloggs and son]

I imagine since she was religious she thought it was sinful outside of marriage, and like most mothers she didn't like the idea of her daughter sleeping around.

Yes I agree and she probably thought that Colin Caffell was a bad influence on her?

[Bridget]

Yes I agree and she probably thought that Colin Caffell was a bad influence on her?

From what I've read here June and Colin didn't exactly hold each other in high regard. I don't know why, maybe his book explains it better but I haven't had the opportunity to read it yet.

[Bridget]

Yes. June refused to let her daughter marry in the local church and give her the traditional marriage that was usually given by the family..like the big marquee on the lawn...

Sheila was pregnant at the time of her marriage and she married at the register office, then went back to an hotel....Her dress was in contention too....June told her that a white wedding was not appropriate...According to Colin, this was to save embarrassment in the village. 

Well that could certainly be described as an old fashioned view, but I wouldn't go so far as to say it indicates an obsession with sex.

[Patti]

Well that could certainly be described as an old fashioned view, but I wouldn't go so far as to say it indicates an obsession with sex.

Colin didn't like the way she treated Sheila....He says, that whenever she had spent time with her mother, she felt
depressed and upset. All Sheila wanted from her mother was to feel loved and she could not understand why other
mothers hugged their children and gave them birthday parties....Sheila never had this, she never invited friends home.

When Sheila had the twins....and the family came to see her...Colin's mum was excited about the twins and hugged
Sheila and made a fuss of her....he says June stood there with arms by her side and said who's a clever girl then...Not once
did she put her arms around her or touch the babies.....This must have hurt Sheila...

June may have had old fashioned views, of which I fully respect....but she also had the inability to hug her children.

Colin said Sheila could not understand it.

[lookout]

The bible in parts is obsessed with sex. Thou shalt not do this,that and the other.
The family,particularly June,was indoctrinated by various chapters in the bible which speak of differing forms of sex,,to which June had adhered to,and was passing this,,her way,,,on to the rest of the family.
I often wonder at June herself not having borne children,,whether the reason was a medical one,,or whether she'd  treated it as a sin. It was a dirty word in her mind and became an obsession.
Sheila was rebelling against June's wishes. Hence the abortions,miscarriage/s and finally the twins,who by this time,poor Sheila wasn't in any fit state to appreciate that she had something of her own to love and be loved by.
What a very sad ending for the poor " tortured " woman who was driven to despair.

[Patti]

A lot of things bothered Sheila...When she had her first abortion at the age of 17 she was worried that she might not be able to carry a child again.  Colin did not say she was forced into this abortion, but Sheila was worried...They both discussed it and thought it would be better if she did have an abortion, but Sheila was not happy about it...She talked it over with her mother and suddenly changed her mind about it all....

The day after the abortion Colin went to see Sheila at WHF. Sheila wanted to go out and her mother said they could go in the garden....But they walked over to a field and got naked and laid in the sun...There was no sex, because it was the day after her abortion....Her mother caught them in the field.....She was furious with them both...So when they got back to the farm, Sheila went upstairs and packed her bags...and went back to London with Colin....

[Patti]

The bible in parts is obsessed with sex. Thou shalt not do this,that and the other.
The family,particularly June,was indoctrinated by various chapters in the bible which speak of differing forms of sex,,to which June had adhered to,and was passing this,,her way,,,on to the rest of the family.
I often wonder at June herself not having borne children,,whether the reason was a medical one,,or whether she'd  treated it as a sin. It was a dirty word in her mind and became an obsession.
Sheila was rebelling against June's wishes. Hence the abortions,miscarriage/s and finally the twins,who by this time,poor Sheila wasn't in any fit state to appreciate that she had something of her own to love and be loved by.
What a very sad ending for the poor " tortured " woman who was driven to despair.

Hi lookout...according to Colin, the 2nd abortion took place when they were married...Sheila had caught an infection of some sort
and had to have the pregnancy terminated.....When she carried the twins Sheila spent most of the pregnancy in hospital. I know what
that is like, because I had to do the same with my son....Then came the monster...hahahahahah

It must have been difficult for both JB and Sheila being modern children, having an old fashioned mother who quoted the bible to them
at every given opportunity, quite frustrating......

Having read what JB said about his parents....his only hang up was his mother and her religion.

I sometimes wonder if June is painted wrongly sometimes.....possibly misunderstood.??

[Jane]

Is June's 'obsession with sex' something from one of the books? I don't recall seeing anything about it.

Bridget, You're unlikely to to find mention of June's "obsession with sex" mentioned. It comes from what I've read, what I've been told and my observations as to how she is portrayed as raising her daughter. It is not so much a condemnation as an acknowledgement that she was a troubled woman.