Sheila's behavioural problems/mental illness : childhood - 1985

[killingeve]

Sheila's early behavioural problems:

Bullied at school and expelled from school x 2:

http://www.emkpress.com/pdffiles/alexanderguide.pdf

[maggie]

So agree with you about Sheila's possible state of mind egap1. Have watched the videos and found them extremely moving. Poor Sheila, she may very well have inherited the genetics of mental illness which made her whole situation much harder to bare than Jeremy who obviously had inherited a different set of genes. All the drug taking and stuff which she was involved in, is a form of selfharm, she possibly believed she didn't deserve anything better.
I just question whether she really meant to kill her parents as well or if she just wanted to escape and could not leave her children behind.  It appears to a healthy mind to kill your children is a wicked act but to Sheila it would have been an act of love. I still wonder if she was discovered by June or Ralph before she killed herself and that is how they came to die as well. I doubt we will ever know the answer to that.

[mike tesko]

I think the answer to what actually happened at whf that night / evening rests with the withheld material under pii...

[HMEssex]

So agree with you about Sheila's possible state of mind egap1. Have watched the videos and found them extremely moving. Poor Sheila, she may very well have inherited the genetics of mental illness which made her whole situation much harder to bare than Jeremy who obviously had inherited a different set of genes. All the drug taking and stuff which she was involved in, is a form of selfharm, she possibly believed she didn't deserve anything better.
I just question whether she really meant to kill her parents as well or if she just wanted to escape and could not leave her children behind.  It appears to a healthy mind to kill your children is a wicked act but to Sheila it would have been an act of love. I still wonder if she was discovered by June or Ralph before she killed herself and that is how they came to die as well. I doubt we will ever know the answer to that.

I think it's interesting that Sheila's grandfather was the Reverend Eric G. Jay and her father a curate, and due to the times (late 1950's), Sheila had to be adopted for 'decency's' sake.  She was, however, somehow placed with the Bambers, with June who became obsessively religious. Was there a conflict here in June's mind, or Sheila's?  The Jays are from Tiptree.  Did they know each other already, I wonder?  In the other thread about Sheila's letters to her natural mother, her uncle (from Tiptree) says at the end of his statement he recognised Sheila's handwriting because she had written to him in the past.

[HMEssex]

Interesting HMEssex.  The hypocrisy is sickening ie a member of senior clergy allowing his grandchild to be adopted by a mentally unstable genetic stranger due to societal stigma, created in the main by the church/religion, whilst many senior clergy were sexually abusing children supposedly in their care.  Thank God I'm an atheist!  No offence intended for people of faith.

I think you're right about conflicts.  I would suggest June's mental illness in 1959 was the start of Sheila's troubles and the eventual downfall of the whole family.

Most adoptions carried out in the 50's/60's were arranged via the church or non-profit agencies and were 'closed' meaning that birth and adoptive parents remained anonymous to each other.  Both sets of parents would have received unidentifying background info.  Sheila and Jeremy will have two birth certs.  One will state the names given to them by their birth parents along with the birth parents details and the other states the names given to them by Nevill and June ie Sheila and Jeremy and will contain Nevill and June's details.  To obtain their original birth certs Sheila and Jeremy would have had to have met with a social worker and receive a one-off counselling session.  They would then be free to undertake a search which is obviously what Sheila did.

Do you know why Sheila's birth mother, and grandmother to the twins, didn't attend the funerals? Instead Sheila's birth Uncle (Peter I think?) attended?  Maybe just practical/logistical reasons ie he was on the doorstep and her birth mother in Canada?  Or Perhaps too upsetting given that they had only recently been reunited?  Or maybe some rift between the two had developed and she felt guilty bearing in mind at the time of the funerals all believed Sheila was responsible for the murders/suicide?

Are you from the Tiptree area?  Do they still make the jam there?  Use to like those little pots so you could have a whole variety on the go but haven't seen them for ages?

Egap, Peter Jay most likely attended the funeral as he was nearby - Tiptree is only four miles from Tolleshunt D'Arcy.  Is it normal to place an adopted child so close to their natural family?  It's also possible Sheila met him even before she met her mother.  I wonder whether June was aware of the contact or supported it as Sheila was expecting a call from her mother that night.

I live about 20 miles from Tiptree.  Since the weather is so nice lately I may take a drive up to the jam factory I'm sure they have a tearoom and shop!

[observer]

I think the answer to what actually happened at whf that night / evening rests with the withheld material under pii...

It's possible, but you could be wrong

[Newbury1]

It's possible, but you could be wrong

Yes, I agree with  your point about  what actually happened at whf that night / evening resting with the withheld material under pii... being wrong based on the fact that evidence has already been destroyed, and if EP wanted to make sure damaging or incriminating evidence against them did /does not come to light they simply have to shred / destroy it and then make up some feeble excuse as to why this happened!

(Although I still support the full disclosure of all material currently withheld, whether it affects the case or not!)

[maggie]

Hi egap, welcome back.  Interesting reading, it does make perfect sense, they are the crucial years for a child. Poor Sheila had a very insecure start in life.  I read somewhere that June had a great deal of guilt because of what she saw as her inability to give Sheila enough care as a young baby.  Adoption is a many layered business, so many emotions are involved for the mother, for most the driving force is to ensure the child feels safe. The fact that June couldn't do that must have caused her severe stress, which Sheila would have sensed as well as suffereng the unavoidable stresses that an adopted child experiences.

[packagebuilder]

aggression & depression at the same time is unhealthy?

I must say if you read my school reports I believe I could out do Sheila's!

[maggie]

As an adoptee to meet your birth mum is a massively stressful event.  In this country, I believe there is counselling and help now before a meeting is agreed.  I know from experience that meeting a birth mother/family without preparation is enormously difficult for the most secure and well balanced child. For Sheila with all her insecurities and illness it was probably far too much. She may have put so many hopes and dreams onto this meeting and found they came to nothing.

[maggie]

Nicky Campbell is on the one show talking about meeting his adoptive mum at this moment.

[JackiePreece]

I amnot sure if this is readable

[JackiePreece]

It is readable if you enlarge it

no wonder Neville rang Jeremy, Sheila really must have been in the last chance saloon with the twins.

If the police knew she had been brandishing a gun running  around WHF she would no doubt have lost the twins forever

None of the family that night would have known Sheila would actually have fired the gun, she had never shot anyone before

[JackiePreece]

nicky is a brilliant patron I have watched him many times talking about adoption

[JackiePreece]

Egap I will look tomorrow, if I cant do it I think Keira or Neil could help me.  I will get back to you tomorrow.