Author Topic: Sheila's reunion with her birth mother  (Read 3540 times)

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Offline killingeve

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Sheila's reunion with her birth mother
« on: February 14, 2012, 03:26:PM »
Sheila was reunited with her birth mother weeks before the murders.  Do we know anything about the reunion?  Was it successful?  I think somone on here posted that they had read Colin's book and it featured photos of Sheila, her birth mother and the twins playing so I assume on that basis it was successful?

I know from meeting my own birth parents (I'm adopted) that it is a very emotionally draining experience.  Do we know what sort of support Sheila had pre, during and post reunion?

For anyone interested Nicky Campbell, radio and tv presenter, wrote a book entitled 'blue-eyed son' about his reunion with his birth parents.  It is in my view a very accurate account of the roller-coaster emotions experienced.

Were June and Neville aware of the reunion?  Ann Eaton's witness statement states that Sheila asked Ann to take a photo of her in the garden of Oak Farm.  Ann assumed this was to spare June emotional pain.  This suggests June was unaware?  Did all of this come out on the night of the murders?

Offline nugnug

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Re: Sheila's reunion with her birth mother
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2012, 03:29:PM »
for how long had shiela known she was adopted did she know from an early age.

Offline nugnug

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Re: Sheila's reunion with her birth mother
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2012, 04:54:PM »
are so she had had a fair time to get used to the fact then.

Offline Aunt Agatha

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Re: Sheila's reunion with her birth mother
« Reply #3 on: February 17, 2012, 09:28:PM »
Mmm!  I see exactly where you are coming from.

Some very good points made egap1.

Chochokeira

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Re: Sheila's reunion with her birth mother
« Reply #4 on: February 17, 2012, 10:37:PM »
Just read Dr Ferguson's witness stat's again.  The last one dated 30th Sept 86 states the following:

"During her stay [Mar 85] she was obviously excited at the prospect of meeting her natural mother for the first time and was anxious to not only to be well, but to be seen to be well enough to leave hospital so as to avoid having to meet her mother whilst a patient".

He then goes on to state:

"I have been asked to comment upon the significance of her meeting with her natural mother after her discharge from the hospital. It was certainly an important event in her life but the parting may have been difficult.   It is impossible to assess the effect of that occurrence: it may or may not have been an unsettling occurrence for one in her condition".

I previously posted a newspaper article re Rachel James who was adopted at birth and attempted to kill both her sons.  She succeeded in killing one and the other escaped.  She then had a failed suicide attempt and spent a number of years in a mental health hospital. On the anniversary of her son's death she set fire to herself in a toilet cubicle on a train and died.

Her ex partner states this is the follwing newspaper article:

"She decided to find her real mum in America and that's when she began to flip".

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/rachel-james-grieving-dad-hits-123282

I think something similar may have happened with Sheila.  She met her birth mother, who flew in from her home in Canada, only weeks before the murders.  The birthmother may have become overwhelmed with Sheila, her background and on-going problems. 

Sheila may have waited up the night of the murders to phone her birth mother in Canada and maybe the conversation did not go well and set her off.....?


I agree with you, agap, I believe Sheila's meeting with her birth mother may have played a key role in what happened later.

Sheila told her friends in London that she was thrilled that her birth mother had travelled all the way from Canada to see her. According to Claire Powell - the journalist who interviewed Sheila's London friends and family and who later wrote a book about the murders - Sheila said that she and her birth mother had a brilliant time together. Her birth mother, Sheila said, was a wonderful person. Sheila said that she was amazed at how alike she and her birth mother were, they were both so emotionally expressive, whereas June, the woman with her arms hanging down by her side, was so cold and withdrawn. Sheila's London friends told Powell that, after Sheila's birth mother returned to Canada, Sheila told them that she and her birth mother were going to spend a lot more time together.

Yet how much of Sheila's account was real and how much of this was desperate wishful thinking on Sheila's part? If Sheila's meeting with her birth mother was such a happy one, why did Sheila's birth mother see Sheila just twice during her stay in England?Having traveled so far, the birth mother surely must have spent a week or longer here? If that's the case, the birth mother must have spent more time with her other family here than she did with her lost daughter and her grandsons. Why didn't the birth mother spend every day with Sheila and the boys, why did she apparently not introduce them to her other family here? And why did Sheila not visit her mother in Canada or why were plans not made for her to do so? I don't recall any mention of plans for such a visit.

Having made a new life for herself overseas, was this daughter of a high flying churchman too embarrassed to admit to her family that, as a young teenager, she had had an illegitimate daughter? The birth mother must have either recognised that Sheila was mentally ill or that all was not right with Sheila. Did Sheila tell her, as she told others, that she was a white witch and possessed by the devil? And was the birth mother overcome by guilt about Sheila's illness? Young teenage girls who become pregnant tend to be disturbed. Did Sheila's mental disturbance resurrect uncomfortable memories of her birth mother's own troubled past that he had long left behind?
« Last Edit: February 17, 2012, 10:38:PM by Chochokeira »

Chochokeira

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Re: Sheila's reunion with her birth mother
« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2012, 10:43:PM »
Whatever the reality of Sheila's meeting with her birth mother, Sheila's friends in London told Powell that Sheila became more deeply disturbed following this meeting.

mertol22

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Re: Sheila's reunion with her birth mother
« Reply #6 on: February 17, 2012, 10:46:PM »
There is mention of the renunion in colins book, i know it was brief but very special for Sheila but as to her state of mind i do believe the early stages may have been much earlier perhaps in her schooldays.

Offline Alias

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Re: Sheila's reunion with her birth mother
« Reply #7 on: February 17, 2012, 10:54:PM »
You bring up some interesting factors, egap!
I wonder if there was some jealousy from June and Ralph towards Sheila´s biological mother - if so, mostly June I presume. It is very common that adoptive parents are jealous of the biological parents.
Were the Bambers afraid of "losing" Sheila and tightened their grip on her? Just me speculating, but it is not impossible.

Offline Roch

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Re: Sheila's reunion with her birth mother
« Reply #8 on: February 19, 2012, 10:03:PM »
I believe Sheila's problems started at the point of adoption by June and Neville.  Firstly, Sheila suffered separation trauma from her birth mother - US Psychologists have shown that babies bond in utero and when separated from their birth mothers through being in an incubator, adoption or whatever they secrete increased amounts of stress hormones: cortisol and norepinephrine - secondly, Sheila may well have overcome this initial trauma had she have been adopted by a primary caregiver who was responsive.  However, June became severely depressed as a direct result of adopting Sheila so much so she required e.c.t treatment as an in-patient.  Therefore, it is extremely likely that Sheila suffered an attachment disorder.  (Google 'John Bowlby Attachment Theory' for an explanation).  This would have set Sheila up for a host of problems which resulted in the following:

Bullied at school - Helen Grimster's witness statement
Expelled from school twice due to lack of interest - Jeremy's witness statement
Sacked from job - Jeremy's witness statement
Marriage lasted months
Post-natal depression - problems bonding with own children - Jeremy's witness statement
Mental illness
Moderate to heavy user of drugs
Debts she was struggling to manage
Had what appeared to be an overall chaotic lifestyle

Jeremy's witness statement states that Sheila was introverted and Dr Ferguson's witness statement states that she was unconfident, had an increased sensitivity to others and was emotionally immature.

Given June's religious zealousness and moral stance with regard to sexual matters, eg she called Julie Mugford a harlot to her face for spending nights at Jeremy's home, did she view Sheila as the pitable product of adultery and fornication?  Hence her referring to Sheila as the Devil's child.

The reunion with her birth mother could have been a tipping point and I believe the catalyst for the murders/suicide.

The whole case and all available evidence should be reviewed by a forensic psychologist specialising in adoption psychology for his/her interpretation.

Whilst this in itself is extremely unlikely to overturn Jeremy's conviction it could add a lot of weight.

egap i have been enjoying your posts.  I find them very interesting and well written. 

An added bonus is that they will ruffle feathers among the puritanical elite, who believe it their sacred duty to defend all things Sheila.   

Are you aware of Vincent Egan?  I had you down as a student of his... Egap / Egan etc.  I wondered especially as you mentioned the '27 assessments'.  I believe his was the last one.

Prior to trial there was apparently an opposite view (regarding Jeremy / Psycopathy) from an 'eminent' professional.  Vic once posted up about it.  Apparently it's from the Wilkes book.
« Last Edit: February 19, 2012, 10:06:PM by rochford »