But taking the rifle off Sheila in her docile state would be like taking candy off a baby..no hint of a row at all those last few days from outside independent witnesses, her thought processes as Jennery himself admitted impossible to predict. The Devil theme is worrying though this was not to be found in Daniel and Nicholas themselves, more likely it was Sheila who initially thought she might be an unfit mother and therefore project her thoughts onto them, thoughts which by the summer of 1985 had disappeared.
Sheila had very recently 'had a relapse' and had been back into hospital - I believe it to be true that to some people who she came into contact with, or was observed by them, that she hadn't behaved in an unnormal manner, she may have appeared to them to be lethargic and sluggish in her motability. However, despite that arguably being the case one cannot assess her thought processes, one cannot possibly gauge the turmoil that might have been festering inside her head, pressure which must have been building up from that week-end party, knowing that Colin was never coming back to her, and that she, her two boys and Colin would never live together as a family again. Colin had moved on, he had another girlfriend, he seemed happy and he had had custody recently of the boys, Sheila didn't like the idea of another wwoman spending time with her children, it ate away at her inner self, it reminded her of herself in many ways, orphaned out to somebody else. She feared that she might endd up losing the boys altogether, such thoughts grew like a cancer in her mind!
I have no doubt whatsoever in my own mind that the situation started to get worse at that week-end party, resulting in her leaving early...
On the journey up to whf in the car, she sat totally silent and never utterred a word throughout the entire journey ( I believe because she was sulking and brooding ). I think she harboured the idea of making sure that Colin would never take her children away from her, like she had been taken away from her own mother, and I think she had these thoughts in her mind even before they arrived at the farmhouse on that last occasion...
There were clues as to what might be forthcoming - her outrageous outburst at the official who turned up at the farmhouse on the 6th August 1985, to take a reading from the electricity meter - how she had gone berserk, ranting and raving, like a woman mad and possessed, swearing and ordering the official off her property, or she would do him some mischief or other (Ewen Smith obtained a witness statement from this official)...
And, there was the letter which Colin had wrote out that he sent to Neville Bamber prior to the time he dropped off Sheila at whf on that last occasion - although it was addressed to Neville Bamber, Colin must have either told Sheila that he had sent Neville the letter, or that Sheila overheard Neville speaking to June Bamber about its contents, or she got hold of it, and had read the contents itself...
I shall take this opportunity to remind you all of the contents of Colins letter to Neville Bamber -
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'It starts off with Colin saying how pleased he was that Sheila was now out of hospital, stating that this whole episode has been a great worry for him. He sought to inform Neville of some thoughts and fears that he was having, and wanted to sound him out directly! Colin told him that his main concern was for the health, safety, and the stabiltity of his boys, and everything that was a threat, and that he would stand firm to protect them from such. He outlined the boys behaviour regarding their educational progress and poor school attendanance, until the boys had come to stay with him full time, and how this had improved since that time! In particular, Colin told Neville that on most mornings that the boys had to dress themselves and get their own breakfast, and then wake mummy up to take them to school. He was right, this sort of thing should not have been happenning to 5 year olds. How the boys condition had worsened around about the time of Sheila's latest breakdown. Apparently, according to what the children told Colin and his parents, Sheila didn't spend much quality time with the children, and when she did she did not take much notice of what they had to say! Colin told Neville that Sheila lives in her own little world and that she seemed oblivious to anything but her own thoughts, and that she had been like that for a long time, and that the boys were now finding the situation very distressful. He went further, and told Nevile Bamber that the boys were also very dilusional about religion and were put off by it, since all of this had been going on. Apparently, the boys had complained to Colin that June Bamber had been forcing them to say prayers at every opportunity she was alone with them! Colin requested that Neville 'told or asked June' to refrain from forcing any religion upon the boys, and that if she does not argree to this, that Colin will be forced to restrict the amount of time that June can spend with the boys - in Colins words he told Neville Bamber 'I WILL NOT ALLOW HER TO FUCK UP THE MINDS OF MY CHILDREN, IN THE WAY I SUSPECT SHE HAS YOUR DAUGHTER'...
Colin went on to say in this letter, that he was sorry for being so blunt, but that what he had said was restrained compared to how he really felt (So Colin was very angry but unprepared to say how angry this had really made him feel)!
Colin invited Neville to help him, to resolve these matters...
Colin told Neville that it would be better if 'the boys stayed with him most of the time' and that Sheila could see them 'whenever she wanted to'! He tried to make it absolutely clear to Neville that it was not his intention 'to take the boys away from her'. More importantly, he told Neville that 'he wished to have full control over the boys' wellfare'!------------------------------------------------------------
Well, that was the gist of Colins letter to Neville Bamber, a letter that was sent to Neville Bamber just prior to the last occasion that he took Sheila and the boys to the farmhouse for a short stay (on the last occasion)...
Now, I know some people have said, that Colin didn't actually post that letter, but 'I believe that he did'...
I choose to believe that not only did Colin post that letter, but I also choose to believe that the original copy of that letter was recovereed from a top the bedside cabinet in Sheila's bedroom together with other 'notes', and 'a crazy handwritten note' written by Sheila herself! In a nutshell therefore I believe that Essex police seized copies of 'all these notes and letters' as part of their original investigation (SC/688/85) 'four murders and a suicide', knowing that 'this is what may have sparked Sheila into shooting the other four victims'...
This of course, all tallies in with the argument that was manifesting at the supper table that last evening, (according to Jeremy) the topic of conversation being that 'Sheila needed help to look after her boys' and that 'they may have to look into getting a foster parent' or 'permanent carer to help her' to manage them!
In order to get a clearer picture I believe that the contents of Colins letter, together with the other handwritten letter (strongly suspected of having been written by Sheila herself prior to the tragedy unfolding), and the note containing a selection of 'letters of the alphabet', which I believe were all found on Sheila's bedside cabinet (DRH/42 refers), need to be looked at 'collectively', because the 'real motivating force' which led to this tragedy 'is' contained 'there', within these documents...
Therefore, I shall start off with a copy of 'Colins (undated) letter', albeit this was penned after Sheila's discharge from Hospital on the last occasion, followed by the almost 'undecipherable letter written in Sheila's own hand' almost certainly written 'on the evening of the tragedy', and 'the note' containing a series of 'letters of the alphabet' which I suspect was either a coded note to herself, or intended for those who were to follow, and who would find and understand 'why she had been driven to do' what 'she had intended to do', and that which 'she had done'...
The that 'the contents of these three documents', therefore, 'lie at the heart' of this tragedy!
