Jeremy Bamber Forum
OFF TOPIC => General => Topic started by: campion on March 02, 2012, 01:17:PM
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Spearheading the UK's assault on this years Eurovision Song for Europe is Englebert Humperdink, the 75 year old lounge lizard famous for songs like, Please release me and Quando Quando Quando will
be up against Jedward, who came eighth in last years competition, this time around they will be singing a song entitled Waterline. Humperdink who was old when I was young has teamed up with songwriter
Sacha Skarbek, co writer of James Blunt's " Your Beautiful " a song so awful that if I hear it when I am in
a tall building, I stay away from open windows to eliminate the possibility of launching myself out of one.
Jedward and Humperdink couldn't have more diametrically opposed styles, Englebert the 1970's perma tanned answer to Julio Inglasias who was also an International Superstar, against Jedward, the identical twins that look like two emulsion brushes that have been used for artexing and would turn up at the opening of an envelope if it got them publicity, will be performing in front of a TV audience of 120 Million viewers consisting mainly of cabbage chomping East European women that loathe Britain with a passion, in Azerbaijan this coming May. Englebert Humperdink's chance of success where previous UK Contestants have died on their arse, can only mean one thing. European Musical tastes haven't moved forward, one centimetre since the conception of the contest in 57 years and may well reflect the current Eurozone Financial crisis in an abstract form. So middle of the road you wouldn't want to be a hedgehog,this may prove Britain's best opportunity to win the coveted prize in the Queens Diamond Jubilee Year. If Englebert can pull off a winning performance, then Her Majesty should reward him with a Knighthood. Good luck Mr Humperdink your Country needs You.
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Now you have your answer why we are alone forever in the cosmos jedward are known now in the stellar universe , Mr H may well win.
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a song so awful that if I hear it when I am in
a tall building, I stay away from open windows to eliminate the possibility of launching myself out of one.
I had to laugh at that one ;D
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Update on Englebert's competition at Eurovision. Anmary, a blue eyed blonde honey has a clothing change halfway through Beautiful Song, the Latvian entry. Great tune if your stone deaf. Jedward, what can I say, the pair of them looked like Bill and Ben the flowerpot men on acid, Waterline is a catchy song, might come in the top ten ?
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You will not believe your ears when you hear the Russian entry, titled Buranovskiye Babushski ( Party for everybody ), it makes Latvia's song sound good. Performed by a group of Grannies that look like those dolls that fit inside each other, the six performers form a line like there waiting for a tram, it fails to turn up though. It's so bad it's funny and has had over a million hits on Youtube. To fully appreciate this entry, try drinking a litre of vodka before breaking the bottle over your own head !!!!
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Germany could win it, Roman Lob sings a simple tune titled Standing Still. It starts with piano and then with no gimmicks Roman gives an X Factor performance. Englebert has got to have a more catchy tune and give an incredible performance to beat this entry. The writing is on the wall for the rest.
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Germany could win it, Roman Lob sings a simple tune titled Standing Still. It starts with piano and then with no gimmicks Roman gives an X Factor performance. Englebert has got to have a more catchy tune and give an incredible performance to beat this entry. The writing is on the wall for the rest.
He'll be ok with his zimmer frame you see. ;D
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Italy have changed their song for Europe at the last minute. Nina Zilli will now sing L' Amore e Femmina
( Love Is Female ) from her latest album, instead of the winning entry Per Sempre. Nina is a young looking Nancy Dell'Olio !!!
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Well our mans done it, out today is Engelbert's shot for glory, a ballad called " Love Will Set You Free "
He certainly is a bigtime performer having conquered the United States with big shows in Las Vegas. Can he win, that depends on the odd voting preferences among the East European States, its a safe song with a big finish. If anyone can give a big show performance our man can, and he really does have a chance. The hairs are going to stand up on the back of your necks when Engelbert delivers an epic piece of showmanship. Go on Humperdink give it all you've got !!!!!!!!
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egap1, As I am completely useless at operating computers and don't have a clue how to add links, thank you for taking the trouble to add the Russian Grannies, seeing really is believing ! There are 43 songs entered, some are not going to make the Grand Final unfortunately but if anyone wants to add the other entries they are more than welcome. egap1, the Russians either have a great sense of humour or have spotted the next big Club Anthem for the summer !!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Now we have reached this new low, is it time to call for Dads army to attack the Taliban?
They were accustomed to attacking the Nazi's with pitchforks.
With the equipment that is being issued to our troops, I think that Mannering would be on a winner.
My you the Russians are in a dilemma also. [Russian Grannies].
It would be no good if Pike sang as he would not be allowed to state his name.[Don't tell him pike]
I understand a team is digging furiously to dig up a demised star that may help, but I am unable to mention names.
Would it not be better to drop out of this farce, and keep our dignity.
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Buddy, You raise many fine points, the pitchforks points are just two, but what would we have left if we drop out of Eurovision, I wouldn't want to lose this pivotal platform to have a go at the rest of Europe. Put down the pitchfork Buddy and pull on your Union Jack pants, reserve your ringside seat and when battle commences, let Engelbert Humperdink be your pitchfork. I just hope he doesn't get the same amount of points !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Comment heard at local hairdressers, " Oh that Humphrey Bogart is representing UK". ;D ;D
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David Guetta's remix, you are a genius egap1. I wonder what he could do to Romania's entry. They are going with Mandinga's song, Zaleihah, which is also the dance they perform while singing it. Interestingly, a Mandinga is also known in urban language as " The Bowling Ball ". Performed correctly and your partner shouts " Mandinga ". If she just yells at you, your doing it wrong ! Elena Ionesecu, the lead singer isn't there just for her voice. Caution ! This song features Bagpipes.
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More from Eurovision, Joan Franka, the " Voice of Holland " will be performing " You and Me ". The guitar strumming yodeller, dressed in a white Red Indian Chiefs Headdress, ( think feathers ). All that can be really said is look out Frank Ifield, Mary Hopkin and Big Chief Sitting Bull. The Dutch have been on the happy cakes again. The song is better when you don't see Joan !!!
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The Draw has been made and Engelbert goes straight to the final in Baku. There are two semi finals where the contestants get whittled down to a more manageable number. Along with the UK, France sing 9th, Italy 10th, Azerbaijan 13th, Spain ( wildcard ) 19th and Germany 20th. A wildcard gives an opportunity to choose your starting position. Spots at the end of the draw are usually preferred. Has anyone won singing first because that's where Engelbert Humperdink is. His is the first performance, will he prove a hard act to follow. Lets all hope he does.
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egap1, It does get heavy going at times, especially with troll activity as well.
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In semi final 1 Montenegrore have Rambo Amadeus, he has written, composed and performs Euro Neuro. In the video Rambo,sporting a woolly hat goes on a journey with a donkey, there are more scantily clad women than you can shake a stick at, With these lyrics "Euro Neuro, I don't like snobism nationalism puritanism, I am a different organism, My heroism is pacifizam altruizam, I enjoy bicikalizam liberalizam turizam nudism optimizam, It is good for reumatism". The video ends with the donkey eating Rambo's money ........!
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In semi final 1 Montenegrore have Rambo Amadeus, he has written, composed and performs Euro Neuro. In the video Rambo,sporting a woolly hat goes on a journey with a donkey, there are more scantily clad women than you can shake a stick at, With these lyrics "Euro Neuro, I don't like snobism nationalism puritanism, I am a different organism, My heroism is pacifizam altruizam, I enjoy bicikalizam liberalizam turizam nudism optimizam, It is good for reumatism". The video ends with the donkey eating Rambo's money ........!
Campion are you real?? Sounds great to me.
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Also in the first semi final are the unique offering from Austria, Trackshittaz. The duo from the Muhlviertel District have developed Tractor Party Gangster Rap, Lukas Plochal alias G-Neila and Manuel Hoffelnes alias Manix perform Woki Meit Diem Popo aided by three pole dancers in bodysuits with luminous stripes, they take on a different guise when the lights are dimmed, as do G-Neila and Manix who resemble Zig and Zag when this Happens................!
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In semi final 1 Montenegrore have Rambo Amadeus, he has written, composed and performs Euro Neuro. In the video Rambo,sporting a woolly hat goes on a journey with a donkey, there are more scantily clad women than you can shake a stick at, With these lyrics "Euro Neuro, I don't like snobism nationalism puritanism, I am a different organism, My heroism is pacifizam altruizam, I enjoy bicikalizam liberalizam turizam nudism optimizam, It is good for reumatism". The video ends with the donkey eating Rambo's money ........!
This sounds so crazy, haha!
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Here are the runners and riders for the Grand Final. Albania
Azerbaijan
Bosnia & Herzegovina
Cyprus
Denmark
Estonia
FYR Macedonia
France
Germany
Greece
Hungary
Iceland
Ireland
Italy
Lithuania
Malta
Moldova
Norway
Romania
Russia
Serbia
Spain
Sweden
Turkey
Ukraine
United Kingdom
I cannot believe the Russians are still in it, Norway or Denmark are my choices but who knows, expect dodgy Eastern Block voting and good luck Mr Humperdink, your on first........ Make sure the sound checks
are to your satisfaction as they will deliberately sabotage them to keep the contest in the old Soviet Block !!!!!!!
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I watched last night.
I liked.
Hungary.
Italy.
Norway.
Denmark.
Greece.
Sweden.
Germany and
Ireland.
Was happy with the winner.
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yes I was happy with the winner but Ireland the boys with the hair who can,t sing oh no.
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Oh believe me, I wanted to hate them as I sat watching.. but they entertained me.
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I suppose they are different and they have made much more money than I will ever make so they must have something.