Is Jeremy Bamber a Psychopath?

[sami]

Mum got married again so ive had a second dad for the last 40 years so im lucky.

I think what im trying to say jane is that all of us throughout our lives have experiences , tragedies,  unhappines ect etc , some affect us more than others, believe me jane i could write a book on some of the things that ive been through
, the last one took me four years to realise that i couldnt spend the rest of my life feeling giulty, sad and bieng a victim. It was my life and i needed to get on with it. Whats so different about being adopted, in some cases it might be sad/ terrible in others happy/ wonderful. We all have a choice dont we.

you are a strong person notsure iam glad  you have moved on and making something of life.i know a  person who was sexally abused as a teen .and its completely messed him up feels dirty thinks its his fault and never had a girlfriend in his life.so all people cope differently

[notsure]

I'm delighted that it worked out well for you, Notsure.

You're correct in saying that we all have individual experiences. How we're affected by them largely depends on what sort of support network we've enjoyed/suffered during our childhoods.

I'm glad that you've managed to lift yourself out of whatever it was you felt was holding you back. You ask what's so different about being adopted. Perhaps I can ask you what it feels like to NOT be adopted. You're right. We DO have choices. However, when one adds in all the variables, those choices become very limited.

you are right jane, its wrong of me to assume i know it all about how it must be when one has limited choices. Sometimes i feel sad for my sisters knowing that both thier real parents are dead but what should we do. I just feel normal, should i feel differntly because my dad died and until i was 15 i didnt have what my friends had. I suppose i bury my head to all the real sad things inthe world, i can do very little to make them any better so i try to enjoy life. Isnt that a better way.

jeremy imo didnt have any problem with bieng adopted and none of the evidence proves thwt he did.

[susan]

you are a strong person notsure iam glad  you have moved on and making something of life.i know a  person who was sexally abused as a teen .and its completely messed him up feels dirty thinks its his fault and never had a girlfriend in his life.so all people cope differently

sami that is so sad and it would appear the dreadful experience has ruined his life unless of course he can learn to accept it was not his fault but that easy for me to say I guess

[sami]

sami that is so sad and it would appear the dreadful experience has ruined his life unless of course he can learn to accept it was not his fault but that easy for me to say I guess

very sad sue.he is 45 now and nothings changed.i dont like to say he is weak minded because he cant move on .but what we would  do to move on .he cant do .bless him.the abuse affected him badly.

[Jane]

you are right jane, its wrong of me to assume i know it all about how it must be when one has limited choices. Sometimes i feel sad for my sisters knowing that both thier real parents are dead but what should we do. I just feel normal, should i feel differntly because my dad died and until i was 15 i didnt have what my friends had. I suppose i bury my head to all the real sad things inthe world, i can do very little to make them any better so i try to enjoy life. Isnt that a better way.

jeremy imo didnt have any problem with bieng adopted and none of the evidence proves thwt he did.

ARRRGH!!! NORMAL!!! How I HATE that word. You have personal experience of what it feels like to loose a parent so you can draw on the feelings you had then when you think of your sisters' loss. Those feelings form a part of what is "normal" for you. NONE of us can make right all the sad things in the world, so take heart, you're not alone.

Now, I wonder why you think that Jeremy didn't have a problem with being adopted? It's often the case that the worse the experience, the harder the adopted child will work at hiding it, because it has NO ONE ELSE in the world save those who adopted him/her and being entirely alone could be more frightening than living with people who don't understand or value them.

[notsure]

ARRRGH!!! NORMAL!!! How I HATE that word. You have personal experience of what it feels like to loose a parent so you can draw on the feelings you had then when you think of your sisters' loss. Those feelings form a part of what is "normal" for you. NONE of us can make right all the sad things in the world, so take heart, you're not alone.

Now, I wonder why you think that Jeremy didn't have a problem with being adopted? It's often the case that the worse the experience, the harder the adopted child will work at hiding it, because it has NO ONE ELSE in the world save those who adopted him/her and being entirely alone could be more frightening than living with people who don't understand or value them.

LOL well im a bloomin balm cake sometimes too!

i dont know jane, could it be that hes a man and they dont analyse things ax much as women do. I just dont see anything that ive read that he had a prohlem with it.

[maggie]

Mmmmmm interesting but im not into all that. Life is what you make it no matter who you are. We all have stories to tell, my dad died when i was four! Some peoples dad who died when they were young would say i turned out this way because i was brought up by a single parent. What a load of waddle i say. Get over it, make your life what you want it to be. Excuses dont make it right.

I'm not talking about excuses notsure, of course we all have crap, no one escapes and it is in the end what we do with our crap which counts not the crap itself. However the kind of psychological damage which can be caused to some people by adoption and the Primal Wound can cause all kinds of disorders which they may or may not even be aware of but which can cause them and others real trauma.  It is a very interesting book and theory but can be hard to take for anyone involved in the different kinds of loss suffered by the different participants in an adoption

[lookout]

 Years ago after a mum had given birth,they weren't given the chance to bond with their babies as they were whipped up and taken straight to the nursery. This was in the 60's/70's. When I did a stint on maternity I took this as the norm as us staff had the jobs of feeding the baby if it was bottle-fed,otherwise they were then handed to mum to feed,then immediately wheeled back into the nursery.
My step-granddaughter was born breeched and 3 months early so was kept in hospital and could only be " viewed " through a window. The baby was just over 2lb in weight and was kept in hospital for 3 months until she weighed 5lb. My step-daughter was petrified of holding her when she eventually brought her home and flatly refused to have anything to do with her so I had her mostly while she was growing up so there was no mother/baby bonding at all.
However,we all got through it and mother and daughter are fine. She is a strapping woman with two of her own children and step-daughter can laugh about it with her but no damage was done.

How other babies got on I don't know but I shouldn't imagine that they came to too much harm as nobody knew any different in those days. My own daughters were treated the same.Whipped away and put in the nursery. They weren't any the worse for it as too much is made of some things at times and if the past situation is drilled into you that's when autosuggestion can do damage that it dwells on the sibling thus causing unnecessary problems.

[Jane]

Years ago after a mum had given birth,they weren't given the chance to bond with their babies as they were whipped up and taken straight to the nursery. This was in the 60's/70's. When I did a stint on maternity I took this as the norm as us staff had the jobs of feeding the baby if it was bottle-fed,otherwise they were then handed to mum to feed,then immediately wheeled back into the nursery.
My step-granddaughter was born breeched and 3 months early so was kept in hospital and could only be " viewed " through a window. The baby was just over 2lb in weight and was kept in hospital for 3 months until she weighed 5lb. My step-daughter was petrified of holding her when she eventually brought her home and flatly refused to have anything to do with her so I had her mostly while she was growing up so there was no mother/baby bonding at all.
However,we all got through it and mother and daughter are fine. She is a strapping woman with two of her own children and step-daughter can laugh about it with her but no damage was done.

How other babies got on I don't know but I shouldn't imagine that they came to too much harm as nobody knew any different in those days. My own daughters were treated the same.Whipped away and put in the nursery. They weren't any the worse for it as too much is made of some things at times and if the past situation is drilled into you that's when autosuggestion can do damage that it dwells on the sibling thus causing unnecessary problems.

I'm sure it's not what you mean, but it SOUNDS very much like burying your head in the sand. ie it worked for me and my family, there's no reason for it not to work for others. It seems fine now, but I'll bet, however grateful she may have been to you, it was a miserable time for your step daughter when she had to watch you bringing up her child

I'm certain that it did work for some but that's not a reason for not trying to make it better for those it didn't work for. It's easy to say that they "weren't any the worse for" the experience when we've no idea how much better they COULD be.

If we don't try to move forward, nothing will ever advance. If we say things are fine for the majority so no need to do more, the MINority, ie the mentally ill? will suffer.

[maggie]

Years ago after a mum had given birth,they weren't given the chance to bond with their babies as they were whipped up and taken straight to the nursery. This was in the 60's/70's. When I did a stint on maternity I took this as the norm as us staff had the jobs of feeding the baby if it was bottle-fed,otherwise they were then handed to mum to feed,then immediately wheeled back into the nursery.
My step-granddaughter was born breeched and 3 months early so was kept in hospital and could only be " viewed " through a window. The baby was just over 2lb in weight and was kept in hospital for 3 months until she weighed 5lb. My step-daughter was petrified of holding her when she eventually brought her home and flatly refused to have anything to do with her so I had her mostly while she was growing up so there was no mother/baby bonding at all.
However,we all got through it and mother and daughter are fine. She is a strapping woman with two of her own children and step-daughter can laugh about it with her but no damage was done.

How other babies got on I don't know but I shouldn't imagine that they came to too much harm as nobody knew any different in those days. My own daughters were treated the same.Whipped away and put in the nursery. They weren't any the worse for it as too much is made of some things at times and if the past situation is drilled into you that's when autosuggestion can do damage that it dwells on the sibling thus causing unnecessary problems.

It is believed now that any babies removed from their biological mother suffer and can be wounded. I know quite a few girls who were adopted as tiny babies and they all have had some problems. They all come from loving adoptive homes with a good sense of self  but for all that they have all needed some kind of therapy for feelings of loss etc. I know once upon a time we all 'got on' with many things and we still do have to 'get on' particularly with mental health problems until we often literally can't 'get on' anymore but it doesn't mean those wounds and difficulties don't exist or mental health problems should be brushed under the carpet. Imo

[Jane]

It is believed now that any babies removed from their biological mother suffer and can be wounded. I know quite a few girls who were adopted as tiny babies and they all have had some problems. They all come from loving adoptive homes with a good sense of self  but for all that they have all needed some kind of therapy for feelings of loss etc. I know once upon a time we all 'got on' with many things and we still do have to 'get on' particularly with mental health problems until we often literally can't 'get on' anymore but it doesn't mean those wounds and difficulties don't exist or mental health problems should be brushed under the carpet. Imo

Perfectly put, Maggie.

[lookout]

I'm sure it's not what you mean, but it SOUNDS very much like burying your head in the sand. ie it worked for me and my family, there's no reason for it not to work for others. It seems fine now, but I'll bet, however grateful she may have been to you, it was a miserable time for your step daughter when she had to watch you bringing up her child

I'm certain that it did work for some but that's not a reason for not trying to make it better for those it didn't work for. It's easy to say that they "weren't any the worse for" the experience when we've no idea how much better they COULD be.

If we don't try to move forward, nothing will ever advance. If we say things are fine for the majority so no need to do more, the MINority, ie the mentally ill? will suffer.

Jane,it was a time when nobody was the wiser. My step-daughter was absolutely fine with the arrangement,in fact she was thankful for the time it took her to even bathe the little mite as she was literally scared of handling her because of her being small. To this day,and I only saw her yesterday,she laughs about it but there's certainly no hard feelings amongst any of us.We can remember and laugh,and to us as a family,that's important. Step-daughter always tells me she loves me and we have a great relationship and understanding as do my own daughters who treat her as a " big sister " as I haven't treated them any different,or pushed the step-children to one side.

To be perfectly honest,life couldn't have been better if all 4 siblings had been my own instead of just the two. We just all got on. Ups and downs,yes,but nothing we couldn't cope with.

[Jane]

Jane,it was a time when nobody was the wiser. My step-daughter was absolutely fine with the arrangement,in fact she was thankful for the time it took her to even bathe the little mite as she was literally scared of handling her because of her being small. To this day,and I only saw her yesterday,she laughs about it but there's certainly no hard feelings amongst any of us.We can remember and laugh,and to us as a family,that's important. Step-daughter always tells me she loves me and we have a great relationship and understanding as do my own daughters who treat her as a " big sister " as I haven't treated them any different,or pushed the step-children to one side.

To be perfectly honest,life couldn't have been better if all 4 siblings had been my own instead of just the two. We just all got on. Ups and downs,yes,but nothing we couldn't cope with.

Lookout, if all families functioned as well as your own, there'd be no need for counsellors and therapists, but judging by the length of their waiting lists, sadly, it seems yours may be in the minority.

"There was a time when nobody was the wiser." How true. During "that" time it was never questioned if a parent was physically abusive to their child because the child obviously deserved it. No one questioned a parent who used spiteful and hurtful words to their child, after all, "sticks and stones may break bones but words will never hurt"!!! but whilst physical scars fade, the scarring left by words doesn't. It was expected that, regardless of the parents' treatment of their child, the child owed it's parents total and unquestioning respect. It didn't ever occur to these particular parents that respect must be demonstrated and children learn by example. Nothing is ever going to be perfect, but I'm glad we're wiser now.

[sami]

Lookout, if all families functioned as well as your own, there'd be no need for counsellors and therapists, but judging by the length of their waiting lists, sadly, it seems yours may be in the minority.

"There was a time when nobody was the wiser." How true. During "that" time it was never questioned if a parent was physically abusive to their child because the child obviously deserved it. No one questioned a parent who used spiteful and hurtful words to their child, after all, "sticks and stones may break bones but words will never hurt"!!! but whilst physical scars fade, the scarring left by words doesn't. It was expected that, regardless of the parents' treatment of their child, the child owed it's parents total and unquestioning respect. It didn't ever occur to these particular parents that respect must be demonstrated and children learn by example. Nothing is ever going to be perfect, but I'm glad we're wiser now.

very interesting jane

[Stephanie]

Is Jeremy Bamber a Psychopath?

"People with Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) are characterized by callous and exploitive behavior and by a lack of empathy or remorse. In DSM-IV, a person with this disorder demonstrates a pervasive pattern of disregard for the rights of others as evidenced by at least three of the following criteria: repeatedly engaging in illegal behavior; frequently lying, using aliases or conning others for personal profit; impulsivity and lack of future planning; irritability and aggressiveness; reckless disregard for the safety of self and others; consistent irresponsibility, with repeated failures to sustain employment or fulfill financial obligations; lack of remorse as evident in indifference to or rationalization of hurting, mistreating or stealing from others. This definition has been criticized, however, for being too focused on behavior instead of personality traits and also for requiring evidence of conduct disorder (a childhood variant of ASPD) before the age of 15."

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/handy-psychology-answers/201103/what-do-we-know-about-psychopathy

JB is a psychopath, there is no doubt in my mind.

Watching this video, alarm bells were going off time and time again. https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=2UEL13jgLfc