Is Jeremy Bamber a Psychopath?

[Caroline]

Its alleged that Jeremy was raped and molested at Greshams boarding school. Apparently this allegation came from Brett Collins. This might explain why he hated the place and didn't want to return

I wish this was more looked into. Its not something that should be ignored. The idea of a prestigious boarding school having staff molesting its pupils is not outrageous, It would be difficult to be believed back in the 70s and 80s but now with what we know about scandals like Jimmy Saville and Rolf Harris being allowed to molest young people in major institutions and management turns a blind eye, I find the allegations very plausible.

If it is true I hope Jeremy and other former pupils do come forward to corroborate. Now that historic cases are taken seriously.

How can it be looked into? It's not Jeremy who is claiming it, it was Brett Collins and as no other ex pupil has come forward.

[sami]

I think it will have made a difference that your adopted siblings were biological siblings. Jeremy and Sheila weren't and there may never have been any emotional link between them, meaning boarding school was likely to have been much lonelier.

It may also interest you to hear about an experiment which had the same outcome each time it was repeated. Random people were asked to congregate in a given space. They were asked to wander around and pick another person IN SILENCE. Still in silence, the couple then had to pick another couple  after which the quartet picked another quartet, all within a specified time. As with all social gatherings, there were those who weren't picked and remained on the outside. Each time the experiment was run, those on the outside comprised people who had been either adopted or fostered.

thats very interesting jane

[maggie]

I think it will have made a difference that your adopted siblings were biological siblings. Jeremy and Sheila weren't and there may never have been any emotional link between them, meaning boarding school was likely to have been much lonelier.

It may also interest you to hear about an experiment which had the same outcome each time it was repeated. Random people were asked to congregate in a given space. They were asked to wander around and pick another person IN SILENCE. Still in silence, the couple then had to pick another couple  after which the quartet picked another quartet, all within a specified time. As with all social gatherings, there were those who weren't picked and remained on the outside. Each time the experiment was run, those on the outside comprised people who had been either adopted or fostered.

I would guess it made a huge difference they were biologically connected.
It is an interesting experiment and I would guess they were the adopted who hadn't been able to bond with their adopted families and had always felt on the outside. It's hard enough to feel different without being told constantly that you are. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging difference as long as it is part of the reason you are loved. Sometimes the mistake may be that children are pressured and believe they can only be loved by their adopters if they pretend to be the 'same'. To live that way must be extremely confusing and damaging.

[lookout]

No one said he was the only child to hate boarding school, but it's one thing for a child to believe it's parents must have hated them to send them there, and entirely another for a child to -possibly- believe that it was sent away because the people who had bought them up, weren't their real parents and they didn't want anyone else to find out. The reasons parents send children to boarding school pale into insignificance compared to how the child feels about being sent there.

I wonder from where you picked up the information that "his sister hated school...........full stop"? How do you know that "June told them both together"? It would have made Sheila about 11. I imagine the news would have been devastating. Are you an authority on what is the correct age for children per se to learn of their adoption? How do you know the manner in which June told them of their adoption? How do you know that Jeremy "took it in his stride"? How do you know, that because boys don't cry, he didn't put on an act of taking it in his stride. Sheila found her birth mother. I imagine that Jeremy might have been eaten up with jealousy, it would have been a perfectly natural reaction.

In Claire Powell's book she speaks of the time when both children were told of their adoption,which was straight and to the point then left at that.

I doubt if JB had felt/displayed any jealousy regarding Sheila's meeting with her birth mother. Neither siblings appeared to have shown jealousy about anything,simply because they'd been brought up fairly and equally.

[sami]

In Claire Powell's book she speaks of the time when both children were told of their adoption,which was straight and to the point then left at that.

I doubt if JB had felt/displayed any jealousy regarding Sheila's meeting with her birth mother. Neither siblings appeared to have shown jealousy about anything,simply because they'd been brought up fairly and equally.

did jb not complain bitterly about sheila being treated more favouably than him by nb n june

[Jane]

In Claire Powell's book she speaks of the time when both children were told of their adoption,which was straight and to the point then left at that.

I doubt if JB had felt/displayed any jealousy regarding Sheila's meeting with her birth mother. Neither siblings appeared to have shown jealousy about anything,simply because they'd been brought up fairly and equally.

I wonder how CP knows this? She had no previous knowledge of the family and she wasn't there. I wonder what it is that makes you so certain that Jeremy wouldn't have felt jealous about Sheila meeting her birth mother? How any one APPEARS to feel isn't a true indication of what they actually feel. You may believe that they were bought up "fairly and equally" but I wonder if they FELT they'd been bought up "fairly and equally"?

[maggie]

In Claire Powell's book she speaks of the time when both children were told of their adoption,which was straight and to the point then left at that.

I doubt if JB had felt/displayed any jealousy regarding Sheila's meeting with her birth mother. Neither siblings appeared to have shown jealousy about anything,simply because they'd been brought up fairly and equally.

Adoption is deeply emotional, just because Jeremy didn't react or show any emotion doesn't mean he didn't suffer. It's a huge truth to swallow, no doubt he bit his stiff upper lip very hard and eventually managed to bury it. Maybe it refused to be totally buried, poor little boy.
To tell a child 'straight and to the point and left at that' they were adopted may have been done with the best intentions but is horrific. They may as well have driven a bulldozer straight through those children's lives. Jeremy was then sent away to boarding school to deal alone with his 'secret' and his shame. Even if he's guilty my heart goes out to him, poor thing.

[lookout]

did jb not complain bitterly about sheila being treated more favouably than him by nb n june

Hearsay,again ? Supposition.

[Jane]

Hearsay,again ? Supposition.

So you don't believe that sibling rivalry exists?

[sami]

Hearsay,again ? Supposition.

a luxury flat in london or a cottage in goldhanger.i know which jb would choose same as me .london thank you.15mins away from top clubs n wine bars and plenty of beutiful girls.you agree he was interested in that

[lookout]

I wonder how CP knows this? She had no previous knowledge of the family and she wasn't there. I wonder what it is that makes you so certain that Jeremy wouldn't have felt jealous about Sheila meeting her birth mother? How any one APPEARS to feel isn't a true indication of what they actually feel. You may believe that they were bought up "fairly and equally" but I wonder if they FELT they'd been bought up "fairly and equally"?

CP would have got the info from those who DIDN'T know the family.

I rather feel that both siblings as they got older,realised that yes,they were brought up fairly if comparing their lives with others.

[guest2181]

a luxury flat in london or a cottage in goldhanger.i know which jb would choose same as me .london thank you.15mins away from top clubs n wine bars and plenty of beutiful girls.you agree he was interested in that

London flat was only rented though wasn't it.

[Jane]

CP would have got the info from those who DIDN'T know the family.

I rather feel that both siblings as they got older,realised that yes,they were brought up fairly if comparing their lives with others.

How would anyone, without intimate knowledge of the family -which, from what we understand, isn't likely- know such details?

Unless Jeremy and Sheila had a really warm and close relationship, I doubt it's something they'd have discussed together. I don't see either as given to introspection.

[lookout]

So you don't believe that sibling rivalry exists?

Not in every household-----no. Why should it ?

[Jane]

London flat was only rented though wasn't it.

OR might it have been a lease hold being bought with a mortgage?