Is Jeremy Bamber a Psychopath?

[sami]

I believe that Jeremy was told of his adoption shortly before he was sent to boarding school at 9 years old. I imagine he'd have thought he was being sent away so no one else learned of this terrible secret.

 We're not told when Sheila learned of her adoption but as she was nearly 3 years Jeremy's senior, it's reasonable to assume that she, too, was told before she went to boarding school. It COULD point to her having to keep this a secret from Jeremy to stop him asking questions.

thank you jane

[lookout]

Why must JB be the only one who'd hated boarding school ? His sister hated school-----full stop, and had been dismissed from one. Hundreds of kids hate school but it doesn't mean to say that they become murderers.
Children are sent to boarding schools for various reasons and NOT because their parents hate them or wish to see the back of them. Even if the brother and sister had been blood-related they would still have been sent away to school in order to give the children the best education that they could. It's what parents do when they're in such a financial position to do so and has nothing to do with anyone else.

Both were old enough to have understood about adoption when June told them both,together. It's just a pity that she hadn't explained in the same terms as the majority of new parents would have done,the explanation having been made in a matter-of-fact brusque manner,with no further questioning.
JB took it in his stride,Sheila hadn't done and probably wanted to ask questions but wasn't allowed,so whatever she'd wanted to know lay festering for the rest of her life and affected her greatly,hence it being so long in making contact with her blood mother not long before the death of herself.
All those years of suffering along with everything else she had to bear took its toll in the end,as it would with many who had to endure what Sheila did in her short life.

[sami]

jb hated the school enough to BEG his parents to let him return.someone who has been through that than is told he is adopted .will bear malice thats my opinion.add it to the greed he already had  and you can see the result.

[lookout]

jb hated the school enough to BEG his parents to let him return.someone who has been through that than is told he is adopted .will bear malice thats my opinion.add it to the greed he already had  and you can see the result.

No malice nor greed on JB's part. Most kids hate school and it's only as they get older that they appreciate what their parents did for them,adopted or otherwise. As I've already said,it was Sheila who was the disruptive one,and I'd say there is one in the majority of families.

[David1819]

jb hated the school enough to BEG his parents to let him return.someone who has been through that than is told he is adopted .will bear malice thats my opinion.add it to the greed he already had  and you can see the result.

Its alleged that Jeremy was raped and molested at Greshams boarding school. Apparently this allegation came from Brett Collins. This might explain why he hated the place and didn't want to return

I wish this was more looked into. Its not something that should be ignored. The idea of a prestigious boarding school having staff molesting its pupils is not outrageous, It would be difficult to be believed back in the 70s and 80s but now with what we know about scandals like Jimmy Saville and Rolf Harris being allowed to molest young people in major institutions and management turns a blind eye, I find the allegations very plausible.

If it is true I hope Jeremy and other former pupils do come forward to corroborate. Now that historic cases are taken seriously.

[Jane]

Why must JB be the only one who'd hated boarding school ? His sister hated school-----full stop, and had been dismissed from one. Hundreds of kids hate school but it doesn't mean to say that they become murderers.
Children are sent to boarding schools for various reasons and NOT because their parents hate them or wish to see the back of them. Even if the brother and sister had been blood-related they would still have been sent away to school in order to give the children the best education that they could. It's what parents do when they're in such a financial position to do so and has nothing to do with anyone else.

Both were old enough to have understood about adoption when June told them both,together. It's just a pity that she hadn't explained in the same terms as the majority of new parents would have done,the explanation having been made in a matter-of-fact brusque manner,with no further questioning.
JB took it in his stride,Sheila hadn't done and probably wanted to ask questions but wasn't allowed,so whatever she'd wanted to know lay festering for the rest of her life and affected her greatly,hence it being so long in making contact with her blood mother not long before the death of herself.
All those years of suffering along with everything else she had to bear took its toll in the end,as it would with many who had to endure what Sheila did in her short life.

No one said he was the only child to hate boarding school, but it's one thing for a child to believe it's parents must have hated them to send them there, and entirely another for a child to -possibly- believe that it was sent away because the people who had bought them up, weren't their real parents and they didn't want anyone else to find out. The reasons parents send children to boarding school pale into insignificance compared to how the child feels about being sent there.

I wonder from where you picked up the information that "his sister hated school...........full stop"? How do you know that "June told them both together"? It would have made Sheila about 11. I imagine the news would have been devastating. Are you an authority on what is the correct age for children per se to learn of their adoption? How do you know the manner in which June told them of their adoption? How do you know that Jeremy "took it in his stride"? How do you know, that because boys don't cry, he didn't put on an act of taking it in his stride. Sheila found her birth mother. I imagine that Jeremy might have been eaten up with jealousy, it would have been a perfectly natural reaction.

[sami]

Its alleged that Jeremy was raped and molested at Greshams boarding school. Apparently this allegation came from Brett Collins. This might explain why he hated the place and didn't want to return

I wish this was more looked into. Its not something that should be ignored. The idea of a prestigious boarding school having staff molesting its pupils is not outrageous, It would be difficult to be believed back in the 70s and 80s but now with what we know about scandals like Jimmy Saville and Rolf Harris being allowed to molest young people in major institutions and management turns a blind eye, I find the allegations very plausible.

If it is true I hope Jeremy and other former pupils do come forward to corroborate. Now that historic cases are taken seriously.

another good post david.i totally agree should be looked into.the problem was rife in institutions as youve said.and had he been molested as above than who would be most likely to blame .his parents in his mind

[notsure]

I believe that Jeremy was told of his adoption shortly before he was sent to boarding school at 9 years old. I imagine he'd have thought he was being sent away so no one else learned of this terrible secret.

 We're not told when Sheila learned of her adoption but as she was nearly 3 years Jeremy's senior, it's reasonable to assume that she, too, was told before she went to boarding school. It COULD point to her having to keep this a secret from Jeremy to stop him asking questions.

I dont agree with this at all. I imagine many people who adopt would findthat quite insulting , most adopted children are well adjusted people who adore thier parents.

Many children are sent to boarding scool you know. Its the done thing in certain circles and not at all odd.

of everything ive read there are a lot of assumptions/opinions on why jeremy turned out the way he did but none can be confirmed can they.

[Jane]

another good post david.i totally agree should be looked into.the problem was rife in institutions as youve said.and had he been molested as above than who would be most likely to blame .his parents in his mind

OR, might he have felt that because he'd done something wrong by being an adopted child, that he deserved what happened to him?

[Jane]

I dont agree with this at all. I imagine many people who adopt would findthat quite insulting , most adopted children are well adjusted people who adore thier parents.

Many children are sent to boarding scool you know. Its the done thing in certain circles and not at all odd.

of everything ive read there are a lot of assumptions/opinions on why jeremy turned out the way he did but none can be confirmed can they.

There are several here who have intimate knowledge of what adoption involves. Unless you're one of them what you've said is only your opinion.

There are probably several here who know all about boarding schools -some will love them, some will not- and whilst they may be able to say, as adults, that they understand it gave them a good grounding, the child who hates being there couldn't care less about groundings.

[maggie]

I dont agree with this at all. I imagine many people who adopt would findthat quite insulting , most adopted children are well adjusted people who adore thier parents.

Many children are sent to boarding scool you know. Its the done thing in certain circles and not at all odd.

of everything ive read there are a lot of assumptions/opinions on why jeremy turned out the way he did but none can be confirmed can they.

I agree it's a done thing for certain classes to send their children away to boarding school.
At the same time I completely agree with Jane, who speaks from experience as do I as an adoptive mother of two. Just because adopters don't know about the damage caused to a child at the loss of their biological mother doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Even the child can be unaware of anything except they may struggle with attachment or detachment in relationships. It's a huge subject but the book the Primal Wound is very thought provoking for all involved.

[sami]

OR, might he have felt that because he'd done something wrong by being an adopted child, that he deserved what happened to him?

thats also a good point jane.my dad put me in care when i was 14 for 6months .i hate him to this day for doing that.and i wasnt molested.so how must jb feel.i must say that after going back home and getting beaten again.i did start to wonder if i was adopted or was my parents siblings child.

[notsure]

There are several here who have intimate knowledge of what adoption involves. Unless you're one of them what you've said is only your opinion.

There are probably several here who know all about boarding schools -some will love them, some will not- and whilst they may be able to say, as adults, that they understand it gave them a good grounding, the child who hates being there couldn't care less about groundings.

well no i wasnt adopted but my mum adopted two of my sisters ( there mother died ) imo they are just my sisters and my mothers children and i know for a fact they feel the same. They both attended boarding school too. So hey we r just a normal family.

i appreciate it isnt the same for all adopted kids but i feel it should be balanced a bit.

[maggie]

Its alleged that Jeremy was raped and molested at Greshams boarding school. Apparently this allegation came from Brett Collins. This might explain why he hated the place and didn't want to return

I wish this was more looked into. Its not something that should be ignored. The idea of a prestigious boarding school having staff molesting its pupils is not outrageous, It would be difficult to be believed back in the 70s and 80s but now with what we know about scandals like Jimmy Saville and Rolf Harris being allowed to molest young people in major institutions and management turns a blind eye, I find the allegations very plausible.

If it is true I hope Jeremy and other former pupils do come forward to corroborate. Now that historic cases are taken seriously.

Agreed David, there are quite a few well known boarding schools in my local area and there have been several historic accusations and exstaff found guilty lately. There is a good reason for the DBS investigation before adults are officially  allowed close to children and vulnerable adults.

[Jane]

well no i wasnt adopted but my mum adopted two of my sisters ( there mother died ) imo they are just my sisters and my mothers children and i know for a fact they feel the same. They both attended boarding school too. So hey we r just a normal family.

i appreciate it isnt the same for all adopted kids but i feel it should be balanced a bit.

I think it will have made a difference that your adopted siblings were biological siblings. Jeremy and Sheila weren't and there may never have been any emotional link between them, meaning boarding school was likely to have been much lonelier.

It may also interest you to hear about an experiment which had the same outcome each time it was repeated. Random people were asked to congregate in a given space. They were asked to wander around and pick another person IN SILENCE. Still in silence, the couple then had to pick another couple  after which the quartet picked another quartet, all within a specified time. As with all social gatherings, there were those who weren't picked and remained on the outside. Each time the experiment was run, those on the outside comprised people who had been either adopted or fostered.