Is Jeremy Bamber a Psychopath?

[lookout]

Using our own experiences is all Steph or any of us can do, but I hope you'll forgive me for saying that I don't think you DO fully understand Steph's "terrible blow" because I haven't experienced empathy as being one of your strong points.

Perhaps that's because life has also dealt me some rather unpleasant blows too which I've declined to speak about on here. It's perhaps synonymous with why your view on my " lack of empathy " exists,as instead of me dwelling on facts,I've shown a stiff upper lip ( the way I was brought up ) dusted myself down ready to face anything else that came my way. I've hardened myself against any more " blows " in other words. It's not lack of empathy in the meaning of the word,it's just that my character is obviously a harder one than yours,nothing else.

[Jane]

Perhaps that's because life has also dealt me some rather unpleasant blows too which I've declined to speak about on here. It's perhaps synonymous with why your view on my " lack of empathy " exists,as instead of me dwelling on facts,I've shown a stiff upper lip ( the way I was brought up ) dusted myself down ready to face anything else that came my way. I've hardened myself against any more " blows " in other words. It's not lack of empathy in the meaning of the word,it's just that my character is obviously a harder one than yours,nothing else.

I can quite see that such may lead to a feeling of "Pull yourself together and get over it." SHOWING "a stiff upper lip" in MY world isn't encouraged. It's seen as a mask hiding a lot of pain and it's result, "hardness of character" often stands in the way of our true feelings.

[Steve_uk]

If someone,such as Julie,couldn't see or sense that Jeremy had a " toxic streak " within,say six months of their relationship,then she wasn't fit to do teaching.That's all I can say. She appeared intelligent enough when she was going out with him to have spotted something " not quite right " and had she noticed that,would have run for the hills before she got too involved with him. Anyone would if they had any sense.

Unfortunately it's only as you get older/wiser that you can pinpoint these traits in people and the best thing to do is mistrust them until you get to know them properly. I've never put my trust in anyone.That way there's no disappointment or shock.
My daughter is the same as I was talking to her yesterday and she remarked about posters online where some you " get a feel of " who are alright,yet others,instinct tells you to beware. It's the same in real life and does depend on instinct.
Daughter has of course had loads of experience in instincts as she's in border control and has been commended.

Lookout you're on top form today with your posts. I can only say in Julie's defence that nothing prepares you for teaching: the curriculum knowledge, the delivery, the notes and preparation, the demands of parents and staff room bitchiness and jostling for position, over and above which she was working on the side, no doubt cooking and cleaning for herself and Jeremy and trying to maintain a social life. Is it any wonder that she failed to spot the signs of psychopathy..

[Steve_uk]

I can quite see that such may lead to a feeling of "Pull yourself together and get over it." SHOWING "a stiff upper lip" in MY world isn't encouraged. It's seen as a mask hiding a lot of pain and it's result, "hardness of character" often stands in the way of our true feelings.

But it's how lookout and many others including myself were brought up Jane. It may well not be the right thing in modern philosophy to repress one's feelings but when you hear so many children whining today over trifles I sometimes desperately want to give them a slap..

[Jane]

Lookout you're on top form today with your posts. I can only say in Julie's defence that nothing prepares you for teaching: the curriculum knowledge, the delivery, the notes and preparation, the demands of parents and staff room bitchiness and jostling for position, over and above which she was working on the side, no doubt cooking and cleaning for herself and Jeremy and trying to maintain a social life. Is it any wonder that she failed to spot the signs of psychopathy..

And psychopaths don't have PSYCHOPATH writ large across their foreheads.

[Stephanie]

But it's how lookout and many others including myself were brought up Jane. It may well not be the right thing in modern philosophy to repress one's feelings but when you hear so many children whining today over trifles I sometimes desperately want to give them a slap..

Then in your wisdom you would surely both recognise how that attitude may have affected and damaged some of the next generation?

[lookout]

But it's how lookout and many others including myself were brought up Jane. It may well not be the right thing in modern philosophy to repress one's feelings but when you hear so many children whining today over trifles I sometimes desperately want to give them a slap..

Social services would have a field day if children were treated that way today.

I know one thing though Steve,for all our upbringing I don't ever remember there to have been any children with mental issues as there are now. ?
Yes,there are some unruly kids out there who wouldn't get away with it if I had anything to do with it.

[Jane]

But it's how lookout and many others including myself were brought up Jane. It may well not be the right thing in modern philosophy to repress one's feelings but when you hear so many children whining today over trifles I sometimes desperately want to give them a slap..

As was I, Steve. It would have been much better for me had I not repressed my feelings. By so doing I was never able to reveal the things that were happening to me. Those children who whine, irritating as they are, probably aren't the ones with problems, but keep your eye on the quiet one who is often lost in their own world, and whilst being bright, never achieves it's full potential....................Guess I don't need to tell you that. I'm certain you've come across it.

[lookout]

Then in your wisdom you would surely both recognise how that attitude may have affected and damaged some of the next generation?

It has NOT affected my children in any way,nor theirs.  They're well balanced and more than prepared for any " knocks " in life without turning to drugs/drink or crime.

[Jane]

Social services would have a field day if children were treated that way today.

I know one thing though Steve,for all our upbringing I don't ever remember there to have been any children with mental issues as there are now. ?
Yes,there are some unruly kids out there who wouldn't get away with it if I had anything to do with it.

No, Lookout. The stiff upper lip and mask were so securely fixed that they never slipped. It might have been well into adulthood -after many trauma's and failed relationships- before they realized there was a problem.

[lookout]

We were more involved with our children than parents are now. I was strict on manners and that has rubbed off through the next generation,so no bad thing.
Yes,I might still live in the past in lots of ways but there is no better teaching than that and it's done me no harm.

[Jane]

It has NOT affected my children in any way,nor theirs.  They're well balanced and more than prepared for any " knocks " in life without turning to drugs/drink or crime.

I can recall my late partner telling his son, who was a school governor, that taking him and his brother out of school for holidays during term time had never done them any harm. His son responded with "How do you know that?"

[Steve_uk]

Then in your wisdom you would surely both recognise how that attitude may have affected and damaged some of the next generation?

But there is a crime wave compared to lookout's era of the 1950s. One only needs to look at offences against the person, where there were more crimes committed in Liverpool last year than the whole of the country in any given year fifty years ago. People know their rights but never their responsibilities, and I'm afraid freedom of self-expression even if it entails committing a crime is part of that.

[Jane]

We were more involved with our children than parents are now. I was strict on manners and that has rubbed off through the next generation,so no bad thing.
Yes,I might still live in the past in lots of ways but there is no better teaching than that and it's done me no harm.

You were strict on manners yet you condone Jeremy's ill mannered and arrogant approach to professional people as something to be applauded?

[lookout]

I can recall my late partner telling his son, who was a school governor, that taking him and his brother out of school for holidays during term time had never done them any harm. His son responded with "How do you know that?"

Surely the child would have remembered his holiday more than when it had been taken,or how ? Depending on age.