Jokes:-

[Jane]

what is it that is hot and steaming and comes out of cows ?

  the Isle of Wight ferry

Just shows that jokes don't have to be offensive to be funny

[Alias]

I don´t understand the last one!  Maybe you have to be English?

[grahameb]

I don´t understand the last one!  Maybe you have to be English?

Cows (Cowes) is a ferry port on the Isle of Wight. The ferry comes out of Cowes every day to go to the port of Southampton on the south coast of England. It's a play on words. But only if the Cowes ferry boat is a "steamboat".

[Alias]

Cows (Cowes) is a ferry port on the Isle of Wight. The ferry comes out of Cowes every day to go to the the port of Southampton on the south coast of England. It's a play on words. But only if the Cowes ferry boat is a "steamboat".

Thanks. 

[Jane]

I don´t understand the last one!  Maybe you have to be English?

Yes Alias, you do, BUT the "hot and steamy stuff which comes out of cows" is milk, yes? HOWEVER there is a place on the Isle of Wight called COWES (pronounced "cows") and the ferry which comes out of it  can, loosely, be said to be "hot and steamy"..............I hope that explains it :D

[grahameb]

Yes Alias, you do, BUT the "hot and steamy stuff which comes out of cows" is milk, yes? HOWEVER there is a place on the Isle of Wight called COWES (pronounced "cows") and the ferry which comes out of it  can, loosely, be said to be "hot and steamy"..............I hope that explains it :D

I interpreted it as poo? 

[susan]

Grahame  you would

[Jane]

I interpreted it as poo? 

"Slugs and snails and puppy dogs tails" Grahame

[Aunt Agatha]

Learn Chinese in 5 minutes  (You MUST read them out load)

1)That's not right Sum
Ting Wong
2)Are you harboring a fugitive? Hu Yu Hai Ding
3)See me ASAP Kum
Hia Noa
4)Stupied Man Dum
Fuk
5)Small Horse Tai
Ni Po Ni
6)Did you go to the beach? Wai Yus So Tan
7)I bumped into a coffee table Ai Bang Mai Fa
Kin Ni
8)I think u need a face lift Chin Tu Fat
9)It's very darl in here Wao So
Dim
10)I thought you were on a diet Wai Yu Mun Ching
11)This is a tow away zone No Pah King
12)Our meeting is scheduled for next week Wai Yu Kum Nao
13)Staying out of sight Lei Ying
Lo
14)He's cleaning his automobile Wa Shing Ka
15)Your Body odor is offensive Yu Stin Ki Po
16)Great
Fa Kin Su Pah

[Alias]

Love the "Dum Fuk"! 

[Aunt Agatha]

Fa Kin Su Pah     

[Aunt Agatha]

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters.

They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: "Nescafe"!

Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.

It said: "Good till the last drop”.

Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans"

Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack: "Extra Long. King Size"

She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.

Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African Airways"

Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA.

The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways."

[Alias]

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters.

They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: "Nescafe"!

Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.

It said: "Good till the last drop”.

Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans"

Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack: "Extra Long. King Size"

She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.

Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African Airways"

Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA.

The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways."

OMG, who comes up with stuff like that!! LOLOL

[Aunt Agatha]

The following is the transcript of an actual radio conversation in October
1995, between a US Navy ship and The British authorities, off the Scottish
North coast. The transcript was released by the MoD on 10/10/95.
BRITISH : Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a
collision.
U.S. NAVY : Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the North to
avoid a collision.
BRITISH : Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the
South to avoid a collision.
U.S. NAVY : This is the Captain of US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR
course.
BRITISH : Negative. I say again. You will have to divert your course.
U.S. NAVY : THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN. THE SECOND LARGEST
SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE
DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. DEMAND THAT YOU
CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT'S 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER
MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
BRITISH : We are a lighthouse. Your call.

[susan]

Ha Ha AA that is really funny my type of joke