Morning Lookout
According to CC's book SC felt closer to PB and GS. CC suggests this was because they would apply boundaries for SC and June didn't 
. However even if these relationships were positive they are not a substitute for a poor relationship with her primary caregiver ie June.
It can be a difficult road,,but with patience,can be achieved. I speak from experience as a grandmother,and now a great grandmother.
As a family,,we initially all lived together in a large Victorian villa. Daughter had her own business,I had my work,g/children went to school,,not private,but good schools.
G/daughter displayed " behavioural problems " at the age of 10,,disobedient,wilful and difficult,,so I saw trying times ahead. My daughter was disappointed with her own daughters' behaviour,and was " put off " by it. In other words,,the only time the g/daughter dished out cuddles and hugs was when she wanted something. In the 80's when others were struggling,my g/children pretty well had everything they asked for come birthdays and Christmas.
However,teen-time proved disasterous for my g/daughter,and she got into the wrong company at school,and decided to experiment with alcohol,,so my thoughts were that she'll soon learn when she over does it,,,but she didn't. School was missed,,then when she went back to school,she'd go into the front of it,and go out through another exit.
We didn't know she was bunking until we received a letter from the school. Anyway,,her mother started to drive her to school,,and wait,and this went on,,but the drinking continued,lies about going to her friends' for tea. This was at 13 years of age. We were at a loss what to do,,because she was violent/frustrated,,she was in a dark place and there was nothing we could do,until I decided that a short,sharp shock was needed,so I contacted the social services.
They proved to be no help whatsoever and didn't appear to know what the best solution would be,bunking school,drinking,destructive self-harming,shouting and swearing,,she was like a wild animal.Her brother,who was 3 years younger,was petrified of her.
Do you know what,,I swear that if she'd had a gun,,she'd have used it on her mother and myself. Yet we gave her love ,everything she wanted ( probably too much and could have added to the failure to gain respect from her )
Then things changed ( not for the better ) in the year she turned 14. As my own daughter gave me a Mothers Day card/present,,she was in floods of tears which were near hysteria. Her news wasn't good. Her husband had decided to leave because he couldn't hack the situation ( very considerate of him,I must say ) and g/daughter was pregnant ( happy mothers day ) Because g/daughter wouldn't say anything about her situation,,and because I worked at the hospital at the time,I arranged for her to have it aborted. This,I thought would be a lesson to her. For all we know,she could have been blind drunk at the time and completely oblivious as to who the father was,,but I didn't force the issue in that area,,so at 7 weeks,,the procedure was carried out.
The girl never ever spoke about it,and we didn't broach the subject again. I thought things might now settle,,but the drinking and violent outbursts continued,plus her refusal to attend school.
One thing I couldn't do,,but felt like,,was to wash my hands of her. I tried and tried,because her mother was still trying to come to terms with her husband leaving,which left me as the sole carer for two children as well as the stresses of work,and a sick husband.
These outbursts happened without alcohol and one night she put her fist through a glass panel in the bathroom door,,which meant a spell in A&E. I realised that she was wanting to bring something to our attention,,but what it was,,other than her mind was sick,,we don't know.
She just didn't want to get close to anyone,try as we might. Her father leaving, exacerbated her problem as well or rather,I felt that it was giving her more of an excuse to kick off,,so when she did,I devised a new tactic. Instead of love,and trying to understand her moods,,if she screamed and swore at her mother,,I'd slap her hard. I'd had enough.Anyway,,she got the shock of her life and I told her that she wasn't the only one who could display violence,,that I wasn't going to put up with her ways any longer.It shook her to the core. I wasn't going to put up with my lovely home being wrecked by her.Her bedroom always looked as though it had been vandalised,and wherever she was in the house,she left a trail of destruction.
From then on,,the change was dramatic. The only downturn was that she'd flatly refused to attend school for her last year.I don't know how we got away with that,but we did.Nobody bothered us.
That same girl/woman,will be 30 next week,,she visits often and phones me every week,though sad to say,she hasn't got the same respect for her mother as she has for me. If there are any problems,g/daughter will contact me and not her mother. She knows that she can call,or see me if anything untoward arises. So my motto was to be fair,but firm.
I don't know whether g/daughter got hold of drugs.I didn't find any anywhere.
I remember one dreadful night when she was shouting and screaming,so I phoned for the police,,and a very tall, stern male came along and shouted at her like I'd never heard before,and she told him to get out,then began swearing at him,so he enticed her outside onto the public pathway while she was still swearing at him,and he nabbed her and whisked her off to a cell for the night.Needless to say,that didn't cure her,,only the hard slap that I dished out brought her down to earth.
So,as you can understand,,I won't ever be lectured on problems of the mind,,and even detachment disorder problems aren't just peculiar to those who are/have been adopted.
Junes' problems were bad enough,,but I think mine were a lot worse,with blood relatives,even.
