Statement of Ann Eaton 8th - 13th September 1985

[Jane]

In some cases she even mentions the amount of money, which clearly shows that this was discussed within her family.
I am a bit disgusted to tell the truth. Have never heard anything like this in my family - we have NEVER discussed what amount of money my uncles and aunts have spent on THEIR children.
It is because Sheila and Jeremy were adopted - I am just saying it like it is, I don´t care!

Alias, I can only tell you that from my own experience it's HORRIBLY true. I grew up hearing about all "they" had done for me, all the money "they" had spent on me, how "they" hadn't needed to, how "they" should have left me where I was and given the money to the family. It's because I've lived this scenario that I'm able to pick it up when I see it played out elsewhere.

[lookout]

Well they've all had a good run for their money up to now,,and I can bet that the conversation still surrounds finances,,though at the forefront of their minds will be the fact that Jeremy is no-way giving up his fight.
The minute there's any mention of progression regarding the application to CCRC,,the relatives will be at the ready,all guns blazing,,to block any further progress. We shall see what transpires now that their biggest influence is no longer around.

[susan]

Alias  sadly you are right had Sheila and Jeremy been the natural children of June and Ralph think the relatives would have thought differently about them I find this very sad and not a very Christian attitude to these two children who did not ask to be given away by their natural parents and I think Jeremy Bambers birth parents have much to answer for don't know the circumstances of Sheila's natural parents.

[Alias]

Alias, I can only tell you that from my own experience it's HORRIBLY true. I grew up hearing about all "they" had done for me, all the money "they" had spent on me, how "they" hadn't needed to, how "they" should have left me where I was and given the money to the family. It's because I've lived this scenario that I'm able to pick it up when I see it played out elsewhere.

How dare they! Makes me angry!!!

[susan]

april  no substitute for experience wonder if Sheila and Jeremy picked up on it I am sure they must have and it is sad as they had loving parents in Ralph and June who considered them their children and the extended family must have had no thought whatsoever for the children just money money money

[Alias]

april  no substitute for experience wonder if Sheila and Jeremy picked up on it I am sure they must have and it is sad as they had loving parents in Ralph and June who considered them their children and the extended family must have had no thought whatsoever for the children just money money money

It must have hit them at the core of their being. April will know that.

[susan]

Alias it is so hard for us to compehend that people can put money before innocent children.  What Ralph and June did with THEIR money was their business.

[Jane]

It must have hit them at the core of their being. April will know that.

Alias, they will MOST certainly have known, as I knew of my mother, that they weren't liked. If they felt loved by Nevill and June, they will have wondered what they'd done wrong to make the relatives dislike them. For me, it was the reverse way round but the contrast is SO different, one can't help but notice.

[lookout]

I would think that Jeremy would have been well-briefed by his father. If so,,it will certainly have sunk well in now as far as Jeremy's concerned.He's no fool.

[Jane]

Alias  sadly you are right had Sheila and Jeremy been the natural children of June and Ralph think the relatives would have thought differently about them I find this very sad and not a very Christian attitude to these two children who did not ask to be given away by their natural parents and I think Jeremy Bambers birth parents have much to answer for don't know the circumstances of Sheila's natural parents.

Susan, I don't think this is a straightforward as it may at first appear. When parents relinquish their child, unless they have the permission from the adopting parents, they will NEVER see that child again and the child will LEGALLY become a full member of its' new family. My parents insisted that there were many miles between them and my birth mother, "just in case." However, it works both ways, because the child can't make any claim on it's biological parents. I find it an irony that Jeremy was prevented from "bringing shame on the family" at the time of his birth by being given up for adoption, and then prevented from doing the same thing a second time by having his presence ignored.

[susan]

April I understand that Jeremy's Mother was the daughter of a man of the cloth and his Father was a married man.  IMO they created the child and should have accepted responsibilty for him as they did later marry and have more children.  After Jeremy was found guilty of murdering his family they turned their backs on him again (think this would have been a decision by his Father more than the Mother) I don't know how they could do that to their son.

[Alias]

April I understand that Jeremy's Mother was the daughter of a man of the cloth and his Father was a married man.  IMO they created the child and should have accepted responsibilty for him as they did later marry and have more children.  After Jeremy was found guilty of murdering his family they turned their backs on him again (think this would have been a decision by his Father more than the Mother) I don't know how they could do that to their son.

Jeremy´s bio father even went out of his way to distance himself from his son with some nasty remarks. He was washing his hands, saying that the Bambers were an ideal family for adopting children. How come then, that one child ended up a drug addicted, depressed schizophrenic (sorry, but those are the facts) and the other (according to Jeremy´s father) a cold blooded mass murderer. How did that come out of an ideal adoptive family?
Maybe they were ideal, and it was just Sheila who unfortunately had a genetic defect and not a thing wrong with Jeremy.
Whenever I read about what June and Nevill did for their children, they seem very caring, very supportive and very giving parents; but if you assume Jeremy committed the murders, it sure is strange that BOTH adopted children turn out to be such trainwrecks.

[Jane]

Jeremy´s bio father even went out of his way to distance himself from his son with some nasty remarks. He was washing his hands, saying that the Bambers were an ideal family for adopting children. How come then, that one child ended up a drug addicted, depressed schizophrenic (sorry, but those are the facts) and the other (according to Jeremy´s father) a cold blooded mass murderer. How did that come out of an ideal adoptive family?
Maybe they were ideal, and it was just Sheila who unfortunately had a genetic defect and not a thing wrong with Jeremy.
Whenever I read about what June and Nevill did for their children, they seem very caring, very supportive and very giving parents; but if you assume Jeremy committed the murders, it sure is strange that BOTH adopted children turn out to be such trainwrecks.

Alias, according to my friends who were friends of the Bambers, Nevill was great fun and June was sweet, kind and gentle, but she had an obsession with religion, possibly as a result of her first psychological breakdown, and she was very firm and rigid in her expectations. My friend says June expected that her children had to be perfect, something I recognize from my own mother who was terrified that if I put a foot wrong, as she'd SUPPOSEDLY been assured by others that I would, it would reflect badly on her.

[Alias]

Alias, according to my friends who were friends of the Bambers, Nevill was great fun and June was sweet, kind and gentle, but she had an obsession with religion, possibly as a result of her first psychological breakdown, and she was very firm and rigid in her expectations. My friend says June expected that her children had to be perfect, something I recognize from my own mother who was terrified that if I put a foot wrong, as she'd SUPPOSEDLY been assured by others that I would, it would reflect badly on her.

So are you saying that June messed up both her adopted children?

[Alias]

Also interesting to notice from the Ann Eaton statement is that once when she went to Goldhanger and knocked on the door at Jeremy´s cottage, Julie opened the door and was upset that another female came a-knocking. Ann explained that she was Jeremy´s cousin, so Julie let her in.
Jealous Julie, possessive Julie. If I can´t have you, nobody else can-Julie...