you can chill here

[joolz1975]

I'm just stuck in the middle of him and my husband all the time at moment! Can't do right for doing wrong! I worry he will go off rails!

Crikey you must have been through some upset then with your son! Hope things are improving now!

[andrea]

your piggy in the middle trying to keep the peace.did your son ever meet his birth father?

[joolz1975]

your piggy in the middle trying to keep the peace.did your son ever meet his birth father?

Saw him a couple of times as a baby! His dad was a waste of space but can't tell my son that! He asked about getting to know him so I gave him some details and he found out he had died! My son went missing for 3 days after! So regret giving him the information and not contacting him myself!

His dads family don't want any contact with my son which he doesn't understand! And his dad had another child so he has an half sister that I havnt told him about yet!

[mb1]

poor lad, as long as your there to give comfort and pick up the pieces he will get through it. i had trouble with one of my lads i have 3 boys and 1 girl. my middle lad has just got out of prison, for a stupid petty crime, he nicked some lead and copper from an old derelict hospital, he was initially put on probation , but he never kept his appointments, so they tagged him, he ripped it off so they sent him down, his own fault really, he learnt his lesson though, he hated it.

Your love of Prince Charles could help - there was a PoW scheme to get young offenders on apprenticeships. Haven't checked lately if it's still running, but worth a go. I've known youngsters work in music studios and absolutely love it, really change their lives around.
Best of luck to him.

[andrea]

mmm hes naturally going to be upset about his dads family not wanting to meet him, its a bit cruel of them to deny your son the chance. does his half sister know your son exists?

[mb1]

your piggy in the middle trying to keep the peace.did your son ever meet his birth father?

Saw him a couple of times as a baby! His dad was a waste of space but can't tell my son that! He asked about getting to know him so I gave him some details and he found out he had died! My son went missing for 3 days after! So regret giving him the information and not contacting him myself!

His dads family don't want any contact with my son which he doesn't understand! And his dad had another child so he has an half sister that I havnt told him about yet!

He'll get the picture about his Dad eventually, and the family by the sound of it. Charming people.

You did all the right things by giving him details - nothing to blame yourself for.
Keep smiling.  We're glad you've joined this mad bunch!

[joolz1975]

mmm hes naturally going to be upset about his dads family not wanting to meet him, its a bit cruel of them to deny your son the chance. does his half sister know your son exists?

I don't think so! I've tried to get his dads family to tell his half sister because I don't want her finding out from my son when we tell him!

They have mutual friends on Facebook so I worry my son may figure things out himself as her surname (and my sons dads) is very unusual! I'd rather them both find out properly than by accident!

He could potentially have a sister who he has a great relationship with for the rest of his life so think they deserve to know!

[joolz1975]

Thanks mb1!!

Sometimes it's good to get a strangers perspective!

Funny thing is I'd welcome my sons half sister into our family as if she was one of our own so why can't my sons dads family do the same for my son!

[andrea]

it would be great for your so to meet his sister, it might calm him down and give him something else to focus on, they could become good mates as well as brother and sister.

[joolz1975]

it would be great for your so to meet his sister, it might calm him down and give him something else to focus on, they could become good mates as well as brother and sister.

Yeh i agree. Going to have to tackle it head on I suppose! Just worry that if she doesn't want to know him either that it will make things worse!

[mb1]

Thanks mb1!!

Sometimes it's good to get a strangers perspective!

Funny thing is I'd welcome my sons half sister into our family as if she was one of our own so why can't my sons dads family do the same for my son!

Because you've a genuine heart.
She'll be lucky to find you all.

[andrea]

i  personally think she would like to meet him. couldnt you find a way of telling her without your son finding out? at least that way he wont be any wiser. if she says yes, then explain to your son about his sister, if no, dont tell him about her, he still non the wiser .

[mb1]

i  personally think she would like to meet him. couldnt you find a way of telling her without your son finding out? at least that way he wont be any wiser. if she says yes, then explain to your son about his sister, if no, dont tell him about her, he still non the wiser .

Think this is really good advice from Andrea.
She's been our 'wise one' tonight, with the chill-out wall and all.

[andrea]

  thanks mb1, i was just abit gob smacked to be honest with the stuff that was posted earlier.

[joolz1975]

I just don't feel it's my place to potentially ruin some young girls thoughts of her dead dad by telling her he had another child that he never bothered with!

My husband goes mad and said I shouldn't be considering her feelings but she's lost her dad, I can't help but worry about the effects on her also!