Book Reviews - Murders/Suicide at WHF

[lookout]

In a lot of cases where there has been adoption,,it's usually the mothers' who seek their children,,and being that Sheilas' biological mother hadn't made contact over the years,the subject should have been put to bed. This meeting that Sheila had with her biological mother could have had a profound effect on Sheila,,as I think it did,,and only added to Sheilas' already fragile mind. No,I didn't agree with it.

[killingeve]

In a lot of cases where there has been adoption,,it's usually the mothers' who seek their children,,and being that Sheilas' biological mother hadn't made contact over the years,the subject should have been put to bed. This meeting that Sheila had with her biological mother could have had a profound effect on Sheila,,as I think it did,,and only added to Sheilas' already fragile mind. No,I didn't agree with it.

Hi Lookout

Up until 2002 it was not possible for birth parents to trace their birth children due to the strict privacy laws surrounding adoption.  In fact prior to 1975/6 it was not possible for adoptees to make contact with their birth parents due again to the law.  I am sure you will think the law should have remained unchanged 

[lookout]

Hi Lookout

Up until 2002 it was not possible for birth parents to trace their birth children due to the strict privacy laws surrounding adoption.  In fact prior to 1975/6 it was not possible for adoptees to make contact with their birth parents due again to the law.  I am sure you will think the law should have remain unchanged 

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie,,is my motto,NN.

[Steve_uk]

Sheila did not give any impression that she was violent or potentially violent;she was bewildered..

This is just what I would expect from Sheila given her upbringing and having to adapt to a woman such as the character of June,though the tragedy was that June herself had had mental problems which is possibly why she felt unable to discuss issues such as sex education,contraception and so on. I genuinely believe that June was trying desperately to win back the trust of her children that last year. I also believe that Nevill was the one rock in Sheila's life which is why I don't think she was the perpetrator of the massacre that August morning.

[maggie]

Lookout I would love to agree with you, but a part of me is wanting to say...yes they were, but! Its a touchy subject.  Sheila made the effort to find out who her real parents were and had recently met her natural mother. She has also confided in AE about this and did not want June to know about it all.  What we don't know is how June would have reacted about Sheila meeting her natural mother.  I mean why did Sheila feel the need to keep this from June? There must have been a reason, did Sheila keep this from her, so not to hurt her, or was she fearful of a reaction? We don't know! but, one thing is for certain and that is that June didn't know, or was she told on the 6th August! 

I believe many adopted children find it hard to tell their parents they would like to find one or other, or both natural parents.  It is hopefully easier these days but in the past it was often a subject only mentioned once and then hidden back under the carpet.  This must have bred feelings of guilt and disloyalty in the adoptees when they wanted to discover their roots etc.  I believe every child has a different reason for meeting their natural parents and that every child has a right to know where they come from.  I also believe the natural parents have a right to know how their child has developed etc, even if only by letter.
Imo the only way to deal with adopted children is to always speak of their natural parents as part of the accepted way of things and speak about it on any occasion which is appropriate, only that way can it be an acceptable part of their life.  Even then it can be a difficult thing for them to deal with, it's not easy to accept that your natural mother gave you away, whatever the reason and however strong the relationship with the adoptive parents.  This surely should be accepted by adoptive parents before they are able to adopt.imo. 

[lookout]

Sheila did not give any impression that she was violent or potentially violent;she was bewildered..

This is just what I would expect from Sheila given her upbringing and having to adapt to a woman such as the character of June,though the tragedy was that June herself had had mental problems which is possibly why she felt unable to discuss issues such as sex education,contraception and so on. I genuinely believe that June was trying desperately to win back the trust of her children that last year. I also believe that Nevill was the one rock in Sheila's life which is why I don't think she was the perpetrator of the massacre that August morning.

Steve,,it's a known fact and a true one in that " you always hurt the one you love ". As in this case.

[Steve_uk]

Steve,,it's a known fact and a true one in that " you always hurt the one you love ". As in this case.

Sheila didn't have the nous to plan the murders as they were implemented,with the ammunition by the telephone in the kitchen being needed to be reached quickly on three occasions as the perpetrator ran up and downstairs to reload. Sheila just didn't have that vengeful personality necessary to instigate these crimes,which is not to understate the seriousness of the illness which had been diagnosed.

[lookout]

Sheila didn't have the nous to plan the murders as they were implemented,with the ammunition by the telephone in the kitchen being needed to be reached quickly on three occasions as the perpetrator ran up and downstairs to reload. Sheila just didn't have that vengeful personality necessary to instigate these crimes,which is not to understate the seriousness of the illness which had been diagnosed.

These were random,frenzied murders and weren't planned,as these type of murders aren't. They're literally carried out on a whim,,thus the sick state of the one whose life came to an end when it was discussed about the futures of the twins.
You don't have to be vengeful to carry out such a tragedy,,just unpredictable,as Sheila was in her state of mind with all her irrational thoughts.
Her doctor,Dr.Ferguson thought her capable of killing her children,,particularly after the turning point in the conversation at dinner that night. 

[Jane]

These were random,frenzied murders and weren't planned,as these type of murders aren't. They're literally carried out on a whim,,thus the sick state of the one whose life came to an end when it was discussed about the futures of the twins.
You don't have to be vengeful to carry out such a tragedy,,just unpredictable,as Sheila was in her state of mind with all her irrational thoughts.
Her doctor,Dr.Ferguson thought her capable of killing her children,,particularly after the turning point in the conversation at dinner that night.

Re that conversation, lookout. With possible talk about her competancy as a mother and her childrens future, was it possible that at some point Sheila told June that she's met her biological mother and what might have been the outcome of that.

Regarding your views on adoption. It was at the forefront of my existence. Not for one moment was I allowed to forget it. My faults, and believe me, they were countless, were all blamed on my Mother(interesting, don't you think, that the adopted one always referred to the biological one as such)thus exonerating herself from all responsibility for them and pushing me from her.

[maggie]

author=april1 link=topic=2787.msg172501#msg172501 date=136655477
Regarding your views on adoption. It was at the forefront of my existence. Not for one moment was I allowed to forget it. My faults, and believe me, they were countless, were all blamed on my Mother(interesting, don't you think, that the adopted one always referred to the biological one as such)thus exonerating herself from all responsibility for them and pushing me from her.

Interesting april because my girls had photos of the whole procedure  which they had in little albums as soon as they could hold them and look at them.  I always spoke of their natural mums but called each by their first names.  It seemed to work and as they got older they would tell me to shut up about it, which was fine but I don't believe it would ever in my wildest dreams have occured to me to blame their considerable sins (!! ) on their mothers.

[Jane]

Interesting april because my girls had photos of the whole procedure  which they had in little albums as soon as they could hold them and look at them.  I always spoke of their natural mums but called each by their first names.  It seemed to work and as they got older they would tell me to shut up about it, which was fine but I don't believe it would ever in my wildest dreams have occured to me to blame their considerable sins (!! ) on their mothers.

Mine was a VERY special case, Maggie. They broke the mould after they had delivered to to my set of circumstances. At least, I hope they did :D :D :D

[maggie]

Mine was a VERY special case, Maggie. They broke the mould after they had delivered to to my set of circumstances. At least, I hope they did :D :D :D

:-*xx

[lookout]

Re that conversation, lookout. With possible talk about her competancy as a mother and her childrens future, was it possible that at some point Sheila told June that she's met her biological mother and what might have been the outcome of that.

Regarding your views on adoption. It was at the forefront of my existence. Not for one moment was I allowed to forget it. My faults, and believe me, they were countless, were all blamed on my Mother(interesting, don't you think, that the adopted one always referred to the biological one as such)thus exonerating herself from all responsibility for them and pushing me from her.

April,,it did cross my mind as to Junes' thoughts when Sheila met her birth mother,,,but not knowing if whether June was in agreement to this meeting,or whether she wished to sever all connections,I don't know. Nor do I know what Junes reactions were either. Both,,if had been printed,would have made for some interesting reading. I can only surmise the reactions of June.

[maggie]

April,,it did cross my mind as to Junes' thoughts when Sheila met her birth mother,,,but not knowing if whether June was in agreement to this meeting,or whether she wished to sever all connections,I don't know. Nor do I know what Junes reactions were either. Both,,if had been printed,would have made for some interesting reading. I can only surmise the reactions of June.

Hi lookout, from what I have gleaned from reading, at that time I would imagine most adoptive mother's may have struggled to accept such a meeting and have seen it as an insult to themselves. So many adoptees wait until their adoptive parents have died before they make contact with natural parents.
I would guess generally the problem stems from the parents or particularly the mother who never really faces the fact that no one can own a child, natural or adopted, they have to make their own choices and we can all really only do the best we can and then hope for the best!!

[lookout]

Hi lookout, from what I have gleaned from reading, at that time I would imagine most adoptive mother's may have struggled to accept such a meeting and have seen it as an insult to themselves. So many adoptees wait until their adoptive parents have died before they make contact with natural parents.
I would guess generally the problem stems from the parents or particularly the mother who never really faces the fact that no one can own a child, natural or adopted, they have to make their own choices and we can all really only do the best we can and then hope for the best!!

That's right,Maggie. Because of Junes' previous medical history,,I imagine that this episode upset her greatly and may have affected her in such a way as to have set her own brain off-kilter somewhat.
Maybe Jeremy would know if the conversation that evening included the " estranged " mother of Sheila,,,perhaps with mention of even going to Canada with the twins with a view to settling there and making a new life.
Whatever went on that night,,it had been heated until it got out of hand.