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Jeremy Bamber Case Discussion / Re: Nevills burns revisited.
« Last post by lookout on Yesterday at 10:22 PM »
Yes it is. I can just see him pulling up a chair in that rather drab kitchen at White House Farm and putting the world to rights with Sheila. https://youtu.be/k7ogbFvvCq0






They'd have certainly understood each other.
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Jeremy Bamber Case Discussion / Re: Nevills burns revisited.
« Last post by Steve_uk on Yesterday at 09:50 PM »




Horrendous and heartbreaking. I knew something horrible happened to him but had no idea it was so bad poor poor man.
Yes it is. I can just see him pulling up a chair in that rather drab kitchen at White House Farm and putting the world to rights with Sheila. https://youtu.be/k7ogbFvvCq0
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Jeremy Bamber Case Discussion / Re: Nevills burns revisited.
« Last post by lookout on Yesterday at 09:26 PM »
Yes lookout I think you may be referring to James Rhodes: sexual abuse, eating disorder, schizophrenia, suicide attempts. https://youtu.be/WhjcoZIRWVE





Horrendous and heartbreaking. I knew something horrible happened to him but had no idea it was so bad poor poor man.
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Jeremy Bamber Case Discussion / Re: Nevills burns revisited.
« Last post by Steve_uk on Yesterday at 08:06 PM »




A real harridan. People like that leave you powerless-----if you let them, but because the mother was so controlling she too had a hidden problem in the way that she was. To be driven in such a way is just as bad as being despondent from a mental health point of view.

I can't watch programmes about pushy parents or child prodigies knowing that it usually ends in tears. How cruel ! I remember that very young pianist many years ago a wonderful player----but over the years his life took a U- turn. They suffer burn-out in trying to please everyone. Some are able to stand back and realise what's happening to them before it's too late but if there's a driving force at the back of you it can only end in tragedy sooner or later.
Yes lookout I think you may be referring to James Rhodes: sexual abuse, eating disorder, schizophrenia, suicide attempts. https://youtu.be/WhjcoZIRWVE
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Jeremy Bamber Case Discussion / Re: Nevills burns revisited.
« Last post by Jane J on Yesterday at 07:44 PM »




A real harridan. People like that leave you powerless-----if you let them, but because the mother was so controlling she too had a hidden problem in the way that she was. To be driven in such a way is just as bad as being despondent from a mental health point of view.

I can't watch programmes about pushy parents or child prodigies knowing that it usually ends in tears. How cruel ! I remember that very young pianist many years ago a wonderful player----but over the years his life took a U- turn. They suffer burn-out in trying to please everyone. Some are able to stand back and realise what's happening to them before it's too late but if there's a driving force at the back of you it can only end in tragedy sooner or later.

 I do get that it's hard to watch pushy parents. One has an overwhelming feeling of impotence -helplessness- possibly watching history repeat. Unfortunately, the more powerful and controlling the mother, the more powerless and controlled can be the child. Those who do override that power are very likely to end up emulating the parent they've tried so hard to divorce themselves from. However, whilst all learned behaviour is repeated, on a scale of 1 to 10, most achieve no more than a low mean average.
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Jeremy Bamber Case Discussion / Re: Nevills burns revisited.
« Last post by lookout on Yesterday at 07:00 PM »
Do you see a parallel in the dominant mother, the children wanting to please parents, the switching of the mother's affection, the stifling of romantic relationships, the quest for a utopian perfection which leads to the ensuing tragedy..





A real harridan. People like that leave you powerless-----if you let them, but because the mother was so controlling she too had a hidden problem in the way that she was. To be driven in such a way is just as bad as being despondent from a mental health point of view.

I can't watch programmes about pushy parents or child prodigies knowing that it usually ends in tears. How cruel ! I remember that very young pianist many years ago a wonderful player----but over the years his life took a U- turn. They suffer burn-out in trying to please everyone. Some are able to stand back and realise what's happening to them before it's too late but if there's a driving force at the back of you it can only end in tragedy sooner or later. 
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Jeremy Bamber Case Discussion / Re: Nevills burns revisited.
« Last post by Steve_uk on Yesterday at 06:28 PM »





That was so sad Steve.
Do you see a parallel in the dominant mother, the children wanting to please parents yet who have no control, the switching of the mother's affection, the stifling of romantic relationships, the quest for a utopian perfection which leads to the ensuing tragedy..
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Jeremy Bamber Case Discussion / Re: Nevills burns revisited.
« Last post by lookout on Yesterday at 06:02 PM »
It's strange I was thinking myself over the weekend as I watched the new Karen Carpenter docudrama how problems which are never discussed as adolescents often rear their head again and come back to bite with a vengeance. https://youtu.be/Vj5Y6OxdWGI






That was so sad Steve.
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Jeremy Bamber Case Discussion / Re: Nevills burns revisited.
« Last post by Jane J on Yesterday at 04:36 PM »
It's strange I was thinking myself over the weekend as I watched the new Karen Carpenter docudrama how problems which are never discussed as adolescents often rear their head again and come back to bite with a vengeance. https://youtu.be/Vj5Y6OxdWGI

Sadly the problems which we experience in adolescence usually have their genesis in the unresolved conflicts of childhood.
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Jeremy Bamber Case Discussion / Re: Nevills burns revisited.
« Last post by Jane J on Yesterday at 04:32 PM »





There must be millions of children " who'd wished to have been heard and approved " but there aren't millions who've murdered. It's as though you're excusing murder ?
To me there's NO excuse whatsoever for the lack of self-control unless a person is severely mentally ill and even then it has to be proved beyond doubt.

You're absolutely correct, Lookout. But we must remember that all children are individuals. Some will, if they have some sense of their self worth, have loving grandparents, or aunts and uncles they can unburden themselves to and feel supported by. Others who, for whatever reason, feel worthless/ungrateful will keep it to themselves out of fear of others learning how worthless and undeserving they are. I'm NOT excusing murder. I AM trying to find reasons for it. Bad behaviour is bad behaviour whether one is 8 or 80.

I found it very hard trying to live in a world which was nothing but black or white. No room for error. No room for reasoning. No room for my own beliefs. It was all about what others had dictated as SHOULD have.
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